I just came to a realization. It's not a bad one, it's just a well...different one. On Saturdays, from now until October 11th, I will not eat my first meal until between 4pm-6pm.
Why so much focus on food. Well, you see my friends, I love food. I've always loved food. Ever since I was a little girl, food was big for me. I remember looking forward to lunch as young as first grade. It was the first time we would get to eat with the other "big kids" in the cafeteria. I was soooo excited that day. When we arrived, I picked up my green plastic tray, and headed through the line like a champ, just as I was instructed. Unfortunately, I was unaware of the menu you that day. Guess what they had for us as the "fruit" porition - Water Melon. Now, I know some of you may love watermelon, but I hate it. Always have, probably always will. It's something about the texture, and the fact that you have these seeds you have to split out. Anyway, for me watermelon = the last thing I would possibly want to eat on earth, that day.
I ate the rest of my lunch, patiently, staring that watermelon down. I had been told by the other children they made you eat EVERYTHING on your plate, regardless of if you liked it or not. If this was true, I was going to throw that watermelon down, and hit the ground running. I had already decided. Although a good plan, I was still 6 years old, and the moment the white haired lunch lady tapped me on the shoulder, that was all it took. I started crying as if I had just watched my puppy die. She didn't even know what was wrong. I couldn't get out that I was really looking forward to lunch and this stupid watermelon ruined everything, my whole day, my whole life (perspective is never part of the very youngs' vocabulary, you notice that?!).
When I finally wasn't hysterical, she managed to tell me that I didn't have to eat all my watermelon and my table could go through the trash line. "Oh", I replied to her very interesting, and not mean lunch lady, type response to my insanity. I'm not sure if I ever told my mother about that situation, but I am pretty sure it may be why watermelon and I will never have a solid relationship again!! I don't remember much about my childhood, but I do remember that!!
Anyway, point being, food has always been a focus point, something I looked forward to, something I enjoy. My husband will tell you that I am often telling him I am "excited" about our next meal when it is only 10am and I just finished breakfast 20 minutes ago. It's just my way.
I've been lucky to always be an athlete, and I am so thankful that I never seemed to let any comments or negative feedback about my weight by anyone effect me. Even on a cross country team that always seemed to face these types of issues, thank the Lord I never once questioned if I was taking the right path for me. I just refused to believe that the number on the scale defined who I am. I know this is or can be much harder for others, and for those who fight that battle every day, all I can say is I pray someday you will be happy with who you are, regardless of the number. You are so much more than that, and don't let anyone ever tell you differently.
On Saturdays though, from now, until then, the meal, the first meal, won't be coming for a long time and I need to get used to that. I didn't cry today from lack of food, so I think I am moving in the right direction! I started at 7am with my pool work (all 500 warm up and 4x200 TIMES FIVE), I almost fell over when I saw the dang workout, but then I just (as ELF sometimes says) pulled up my big girl pants (not trying to copy, just really like that saying! She's hilarious!!), and moved on to getting it done! As scheduled my ride started promptly at 9:30am from the park, and I rode 20 miles before meeting some riding buddies to finish out a lovely 5;30 ride of 95.6 miles (no I did not feel the need once again, to do the century). I'm anal about some things, getting 100 miles isn't one of them. I can sleep at night just fine!
When we pulled in at 3:20pm, I said to myself "make a quick change into the running skirt, and grab a gel, you can be running by 3:30pm". That I was. I had a nice 30 minute run in the non-too hot, non-humid weather. It felt like September, and I was thankful.
By 4:45, I was at home, showered and about to heat of a huge plate of pasta that I had been thinking about since 10am.
So, no meals on Saturdays for awhile. I'm used to three, I can probably get in another tonight sometime soon. No worries. It's just my new Saturday plan. I'll try to get an extra tomorrow too. Yeah, training Saturdays...welcome.
On another note, I've decided that I officially want to dedicate my race in October to my Grandfather who passed away in March of this year. He was 90 years old, and about to be 91 in another 4 weeks, and I loved him dearly. He was a great man, and a wonderful faithful servant of the Lord until the day he died. In fact, he didn't make a peep prior to passing. He was found beside his bed, kneeing on the floor, praying, as always, for the needs of the world. He is with me in my heart, always, and I want that day to be a tribute for me personally to his life and his love for his family. When times get tough, I'm going to pray and think of him, and thank the Lord for the days I did get to spend with him. He kept our family strong, and still does even though he is not here. His legacy will live on forever. Thank you Pap, I love you.
Why so much focus on food. Well, you see my friends, I love food. I've always loved food. Ever since I was a little girl, food was big for me. I remember looking forward to lunch as young as first grade. It was the first time we would get to eat with the other "big kids" in the cafeteria. I was soooo excited that day. When we arrived, I picked up my green plastic tray, and headed through the line like a champ, just as I was instructed. Unfortunately, I was unaware of the menu you that day. Guess what they had for us as the "fruit" porition - Water Melon. Now, I know some of you may love watermelon, but I hate it. Always have, probably always will. It's something about the texture, and the fact that you have these seeds you have to split out. Anyway, for me watermelon = the last thing I would possibly want to eat on earth, that day.
I ate the rest of my lunch, patiently, staring that watermelon down. I had been told by the other children they made you eat EVERYTHING on your plate, regardless of if you liked it or not. If this was true, I was going to throw that watermelon down, and hit the ground running. I had already decided. Although a good plan, I was still 6 years old, and the moment the white haired lunch lady tapped me on the shoulder, that was all it took. I started crying as if I had just watched my puppy die. She didn't even know what was wrong. I couldn't get out that I was really looking forward to lunch and this stupid watermelon ruined everything, my whole day, my whole life (perspective is never part of the very youngs' vocabulary, you notice that?!).
When I finally wasn't hysterical, she managed to tell me that I didn't have to eat all my watermelon and my table could go through the trash line. "Oh", I replied to her very interesting, and not mean lunch lady, type response to my insanity. I'm not sure if I ever told my mother about that situation, but I am pretty sure it may be why watermelon and I will never have a solid relationship again!! I don't remember much about my childhood, but I do remember that!!
Anyway, point being, food has always been a focus point, something I looked forward to, something I enjoy. My husband will tell you that I am often telling him I am "excited" about our next meal when it is only 10am and I just finished breakfast 20 minutes ago. It's just my way.
I've been lucky to always be an athlete, and I am so thankful that I never seemed to let any comments or negative feedback about my weight by anyone effect me. Even on a cross country team that always seemed to face these types of issues, thank the Lord I never once questioned if I was taking the right path for me. I just refused to believe that the number on the scale defined who I am. I know this is or can be much harder for others, and for those who fight that battle every day, all I can say is I pray someday you will be happy with who you are, regardless of the number. You are so much more than that, and don't let anyone ever tell you differently.
On Saturdays though, from now, until then, the meal, the first meal, won't be coming for a long time and I need to get used to that. I didn't cry today from lack of food, so I think I am moving in the right direction! I started at 7am with my pool work (all 500 warm up and 4x200 TIMES FIVE), I almost fell over when I saw the dang workout, but then I just (as ELF sometimes says) pulled up my big girl pants (not trying to copy, just really like that saying! She's hilarious!!), and moved on to getting it done! As scheduled my ride started promptly at 9:30am from the park, and I rode 20 miles before meeting some riding buddies to finish out a lovely 5;30 ride of 95.6 miles (no I did not feel the need once again, to do the century). I'm anal about some things, getting 100 miles isn't one of them. I can sleep at night just fine!
When we pulled in at 3:20pm, I said to myself "make a quick change into the running skirt, and grab a gel, you can be running by 3:30pm". That I was. I had a nice 30 minute run in the non-too hot, non-humid weather. It felt like September, and I was thankful.
By 4:45, I was at home, showered and about to heat of a huge plate of pasta that I had been thinking about since 10am.
So, no meals on Saturdays for awhile. I'm used to three, I can probably get in another tonight sometime soon. No worries. It's just my new Saturday plan. I'll try to get an extra tomorrow too. Yeah, training Saturdays...welcome.
On another note, I've decided that I officially want to dedicate my race in October to my Grandfather who passed away in March of this year. He was 90 years old, and about to be 91 in another 4 weeks, and I loved him dearly. He was a great man, and a wonderful faithful servant of the Lord until the day he died. In fact, he didn't make a peep prior to passing. He was found beside his bed, kneeing on the floor, praying, as always, for the needs of the world. He is with me in my heart, always, and I want that day to be a tribute for me personally to his life and his love for his family. When times get tough, I'm going to pray and think of him, and thank the Lord for the days I did get to spend with him. He kept our family strong, and still does even though he is not here. His legacy will live on forever. Thank you Pap, I love you.
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