Monday, January 19, 2009

The Pot Has Boiled Over...


Enough already.

It's time to train. It's time to get into a routine, to get up early, to suffer, to find out about myself, to share with others, to sometimes get the hardest part of my day over with by 8am.

I feel like I'm about to rip someones throat out with my teeth (and I'm a fairly nice person I think!). So, I think that says something.

This year, and this off-season, has been much different for me. The previous year I tapped out about August, having trouble keeping the mental aspect of training going through the typical end of a season of say September or October. By late November, I was ready to come back and start in on the St. Croix training.

Instead of August, my year ended in October in 2008, and I'm one of those athletes who definitely needs a mental break from the day in day out routine of training. I need to shut it down, and spend time with friends and family. It's nice to be "normal" for awhile. I stay out late, I have a few beers or glasses of wine (or too many on occasion), and catch up on some of the things I've been missing throughout the training time.

I needed that time this year. To examine what the year had brought, the hardships endured, and the wonderful blessings I'd received. In addition, we moved, and with it brought all types of other challenges for me to overcome as a wife, and as an athlete. The training facilities, the support, it's all changed. Now it's just me. I would be lying if I said it had been an easy transition...and it's not over yet.

In fact, a part of me feels it just beginning as I start back into something I love and that gives me so much joy. In the mean time, I've been struggling to adapt mentally to the challenges this new place may bring, and trying to be thankful that it will give me new perspective and teach me to be tough while running alone, biking alone, and swimming alone this year.

All I can tell you is, it's time. I'm not going to think about where I was at this time last year. I'm not going to compare myself to other people who are months into this. I can tell you one thing, I am NOT a January national champion, not even close. I haven't really seen the pool more than ten times since October. I've run because I enjoyed it, without a monitor, and I've biked for pure enjoyment on a more than sporadic basis.

I want to be so tired when I hit the pillow I go out like a light.
I want to challenge myself with new workouts and start dreaming again like I did last year.
I want to achieve goals, meet new friends, encourage my fellow athletes and even help a few newbies get started.

I can't hold it in any longer.

This starts.. today.

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