Courage

"At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing… is reason enough to celebrate." Meredith Grey.

Have I ever told you about my love of Grey's Anatomy. Well, let me say, it's quite the affair. I've never really been into a tv show before this show existed. I'm not quite sure why it took such a hold, but it was everything from the character development, monologues, messages, and the music..ohhh the music. I've loved the music on this show for as long as I can remember. I just never actually had any of it in my own possession. I never bought the soundtracks or episodes because well, sometime after 2003 I couldn't see spending the money on something like that. Music became so much more readily available and I can't remember the last time I actually bought a CD. It's been ages.

Anyway, I digress. Let's just say certain things I do ritualistically, but actually jet home, get off the phone, make time at a pre-determined interval to watch a show...I never felt the urge. Until Greys. I would be mesmerized by these doctors for a full hour week in, week out. It must have had to do with the human element that seemed to pervade every episode and the emotion was raw and unbridled.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about life lately (surprise, surprise) and how it throws us up and down, into places we could have never imagined until we actually ended up there. My life looks nothing like I thought it would at thirty. I do not have any little ones running around my feet asking me what's for dinner or a house in my name on a big lot with trees and a yard to run around in on the weekends. Regardless, I'm pretty happy about where I am and I still think good things are yet to come that I haven't even dreamed about yet. I don't think you can sit around and hoping and praying (though that has a place) that your life will magically fall into place.

At some point (if you're getting the right signs from the big man) you have to have the courage to start planning, setting goals and making steps toward what you dream about. This could be any number of things, but I'm pretty sure for most of us it may involve some racing goals, life goals etc. Life is a lot like racing triathlons... You start the race with goals and visions of your day, but your first water bottle takes flight at mile 20 and you're out for the next ten, you head into transition and your shoes have been moved and you can't find your favorite gel, so what are you going to do? Will you crumble under the pressure? Will you lay down and say this wasn't your day when you walk off the course? Or will you stand up, refocus and see just what you can make of what's left? Will you let the lessons be taught and learn what you'll change up or do differently the next time?

Triathlon not only reveals character, I believe at the end of the day it actually helps us create who we want to become (that's not my quote...thanks Brad). I was told last weekend that there is a distinct difference in what we "need" vs. what we "want." I realize this isn't a new concept, but it was said in a way that really made me think. You may want a bigger house, or a boat but you don't by any means need it. It may represent something to you i.e. more space to have parties, a life of friends and family on the water having afternoon skiing on Sundays. However, there are certain things that have become so much a part of us that they are no longer a want. They become a need. For me, that's what my active lifestyle has become. I would be lying if I tried to say it was just a want. There is so much more associated with it than just going to some race or getting a certain time. It's about seeing my friends, being active, feeling fit, seeing the sunrise and knowing I'm a better version of myself because I'm doing it day in day out, week in, week out.

I'm not sure where this lifestyle will take me, but denying that I need it would be like denying that I will breath tomorrow. Acting like I could put something else like knitting, or horse back riding in its place would be lying to myself and to others. Some things you can change, and you will change over time, but for now...this is a part of me..a big part that I love and I know God doesn't want me to give that up.

So in honor of my little monologue there, here is some Greys for you to enjoy. I finally bought the soundtrack (seasons one through three). I've been watching the reruns on Lifetime for months and I fell in love with the song "Grace" by Kate Havnevik. You have to hear it..it will change your life... really... (page 3 - #27).

I had two fortunes in my cookie today and I thought it might mean someone was trying to tell me something... well, maybe not, but I still think I agree with them!

And number two...

I leave you with one more Meredith Grey quote.. and it's a keeper..

"At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day the fairy tale might be different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may no be a castle. And it's not so important to have happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in awhile, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you, and once in awhile, people may even take your breath away."

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends...

"A Friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway!!!"
- (sent by Heather Tallent)

Lately I've felt completely surrounded by my friends. Friends on Facebook, friends at the gym, friends that leave messages on my blog that lift me up. I'm a true believer in that you get back what you put out into the world and into other people. I'm immensely thankful for my friends and I always will be. They are the salt of the earth, and I can't imagine my life without them.

Even if it's been awhile since we last spoke, I'm a person who holds on to my friends in my heart. I may not know the intricate details of their life, but when they call to talk I always want to be there to listen.

There's been a nice group going on here in the immediate friend family lately and it's been making my life that at times seems so difficult, much more bearable. Our little group has gotten together for a couple of Saturdays in a row to ride, run, eat...well, I guess that's what we like to do so that covers it!

It's been really wonderful and I've been enjoying getting to know them on an even deeper level.

So here's to friends, may you always be blessed to have them in your life...

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."

- Charles Caleb Colton

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

"A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else."

- Len Wein - Sent by Paulo Louro

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."
- Sent by Donna Roberts

"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself."
- Sent by Lysha

On another note, I haven't forgotten about sharing some little nutrition tidbits with you as they come along! I have pictures as well, but I'm having some trouble with my camera but I'm not giving up yet!

We were just offered a wonderful at our office called "Good Apples" http://www.goodapples.org/ It's a virtual farm market and all of the produce is extremely fresh. It's delivered right to our building once a week and I'm not sure that its available in all areas, but it's worth looking into for sure! Talk about a way to increase your fruit and vegetable consumption!

However, for those who are tired of buying fruit and having it go bad, here's an idea. If you happened to overbuy strawberries, blueberries, bananas, grapes or other fruits and you just KNOW they are going to go bad - Freeze them! You can just chop them up and store them in a storage bag (after squeezing all the air out) in the freezer. That way, when you're ready for a wonderful breakfast or afternoon smoothie you pull them out, throw them in the blender with a little low fat yogurt, protein powder and ice if you like it to be a bit thicker for a delicious and nutritious meal component or snack! It's a great way to cut down on waste and not KICK yourself for throwing away fruit at the end of it's lifespan.

Happy eating!

Things I Do To Prevent Myself From Sabotaging Myself

Have you ever just felt you weren't prepared for a workout or training session? Do you kick yourself and just wish you could get your act together and get your workouts in like you were supposed to if you just had your _____(fill in blank here with any of about 23 items we need on hand to swim, bike or run at a moments notice)___ . Well, I certainly have. I am not the queen of organization by any means. However, I have found that a few of my tried and true methods have been known to save me some time, energy and yelling at myself and beating the steering wheel like a crazy person. I thought I would share a few things that I've done to do exactly what my title says i.e. "Prevent myself from sabotaging myself!"

One of the things I used to have trouble with was traveling and still getting my workouts in. Well, let me tell you, this one, I've gotten down to a science. It takes a bit of up front work, but in the end, it's always easier (and especially before the advent of GPS and cell phones with the Internet).

I always, always research the place where I am going for nearby pools, gyms, parks or other places I'll need to get my workouts done. I've been know to call people in the area and ask, or even call the hotel ahead of time and research what they have available in their gym. I have a swim tether that I can tie to the pool steps and swim in place for as much as I can stand in small pools.

I also mapquest the distance so I can run from my hotel to the gym if it's close enough (and I check with the staff to make sure it is safe). If you bring one of those smaller bags we get at like EVERY event with the two drawstrings, you can pack it easily in your suitcase and then thow in the items you need when you get there (gels, bars, towel, goggles etc.) and run with it on your back so you don't have to carry everything.

This is a great book for checking out the local facilities and making sure you're ready to go when you get there! Check it out!
One thing I hate is hotel tap water. I end up dehydrating myself instead of drinking like I should if that is the only thing available. HOWEVER, if you have your own bottle, most hotels have a water cooler in the fitness center. Bring it along and you can use your room key to head in and fill up any time, day or night! Shhhh... don't tell them I told you about this one!
Taking a picture after my run last week. Thanks Roaring Spring and Marriott for providing this photo opportunity!
The bag is always packed the night before. It's a pain, but there's just too much to remember to do it any other time. Every night I come home, unpack the bag, repack the bag and I'm done with it until I get up with about 5 minutes to get ready before I leave the house for the gym!
Laying out your clothes the night before is a must. I am not in my right mind at 5:30am and cannot be trusted to not leave the house without a sports bra, half of a bathing suit, even pants. Stranger things have happened. You will see these are place strategically close to the heater to encourage me to get out of my nice warm bed and put them on while staying warm. A little time in the evening, saves me from thinking...and THAT is a must!
I can't tell you how many times I've gotten to the gym only to find I don't have my heart rate monitor strap. Luckily, in my wise old years, I've come up with two of these floating around and having one in my bag at all times is a necessary requirement. It has come in so handy and I would highly recommend getting an extra one to shove in a pocket that you won't need, until you really need it!
I'm willing to bet you can't tell what this is just from the picture. However, this has saved my hiney (and literally gone on my hiney) at least 10 times. This is the unmentionable ziplock (that I'm mentioning for training purposes only). I keep some feminine products and two extra pairs of under ware in the bag because of all the clothing items I forget, these seem to be the biggest offenders. It certainly is not the end of the world to go winging it without them in a bind, but most of time, I think it's better to have them on hand just in case.
The car goodies. I never start a week without replenishing the car bars, gels and other items that I might need during the week. I do A LOT of eating in my car and without these items, I would miss countless workouts or end up doing them on low energy which is JUST not an option if you are trying to get the most out of your workouts! You have to take this seriously people! Put them in your car console and forget about them till you need them - then REPLENISH your supply immediately. Trust me on this!
Ahhhh..the tiny crate. Someone got this for me (I think it was my Mom) to put something in...maps, tissues, whatever...I forget! Either way, its new function is to be my just in case I need to swim at the gym crate. What's inside you ask?! See below!
First there is a kit with shampoo and other bath items in case I don't have my gym bag. My boss gave me one of these but any hotel shampoos are a nice size and can be kept in the car all the time for easy access! No excuse for being the "smelly" triathlete in the group!
The swim goggles and cap are always present in the crate as well. I've been traveling home from work trips where I didn't think I could make it to the gym in time, and then last minute be driving nearby. I remember getting really upset I was right there without a bathing suit/cap/goggles...well, no more.. I can swim at any time, even in open water if we are out somewhere that I didn't know we were going to have a chance etc.!

Of course you also need a bathing suit to swim and it's nice to have an extra in the car just in case. It can be one of your old suits that you just don't want to wear on a regular basis but that save you when you really need it!

I also keep some running shoes, socks and sunscreen shoved into my car at all times. There are many times I've forgotten that I needed shoes for my transition runs in the summer and those old running shoes have saved me (and it's only 20-30 mins so no problem even if they're old!).

I hope a few of these have helped give you some ideas... now.. there's no excuses! Start your sabotage prevention stragegy today!

Just What I Needed...

I was in great need of some down time with friends and this weekend I had that and more. One thing I'm really, really thankful for in my life is my friends. I have some tried and true friends that pick me up when I'm scraping the bottom, making me smile while I'm trying not to tear up, and always keep tabs on me just in case I seem to be going off the deep end a bit. A few of those friends and I joined together on Friday night for the debut of the spring Skirtsports line at Second Sole Running Store. Talk about a night that had my name written all over it!

There was a little three mile run (which I was late for due to my ability to find the place despite having full GPS! Yep, I'm directionally challenged x 100), appetisers, wine, athletic apparel and good friends. Heidi and Jocelyn were kind enough to wait for me as I arrived a bit late for the run and we ran on our own while chatting it up. I didn't even realize three miles had passed and we were all done! We scored some free swag (running hat, running light) and looked at amazing clothes while getting to see other athletes in the area. It was a chicks only night at it's finest and it was soooo fun. Here are some pictures from that event!

There was ONE gentleman there serving the wine, and he talked all of us into trying a very sweet white that was good, but I ended up going with the Riesling. Which I thought was a wise choice.

Heidi and Jocelyn happy girls now that they have their wine and munchies.

My Newtons found some friends too. They wanted to bring them home but I said no dice. Not this time anyway!

Who knows what this is.. some sort of tortellini torture device, but it was interesting (and the pasta was good, one at a time!)

Heidi showing off some new sky blue Newtons. Did you know they have new Winter newtons now with smaller holes in the front of the foot so a bunch of snow and water doesn't go in (which has honestly been a problem for me. I live in PA not San Diego here people). They were silver.. so cute!

The three of us hanging out athletic style

On Saturday night things just got better. It was Chad's 30th Birthday on Sunday so we went out to Yokoso in the waterfront. It's a hibatch grill that also serves sushi and other great food. We had a big group of triathletes in the area so there was much talk of bikes, races, goggles and other important matters.

Matt and his wife couldn't make it so they were kind enough to send champagne (which was so sweet and I love champagne so that was a big plus!). Thanks guys!

The cook made the fire volcano out of onions which is a long time favorite. I mean who doesn't love that...always a crowd pleaser!

Jeremy showed that compression sock wear wasn't just for the course as he demonstrated the correct way to wear them under your clothing at dinner. Thanks Jeremy, you're always great at keeping us abreast the latest in recovery tactics.

Once the dinner was over it was time for shuffleboard at Dave and Busters. However, being the triathletes we are, it wasn't good enough to just face off....no way man. There had to be a winning team which of course required a bracket... Oh no you diii-ent...

I showed everyone that the new titanium plate wasn't just for looks. Well, ok.. I got my behind whipped up and down let's be honest. Jocelyn and I found ourselves talking a forgetting to shoot most of the time.. sorry boys!

Here I am looking intense in a dress and high leather boots. Not the attire anyone was used to seeing me in! Either way, we had a great night and I didn't get home until almost ONE am.. I know...I got crrraaazzzyyy.

I did a two hour spin on Saturday and then on Sunday I ran outside in the freezing rain at North Park for an hour. I proceeded to get much sicker on Sunday so I finally went to the doctor today (since I am off from work.. thank you MLK day!) and got some antibiotics. It was time. This sinus thing just wasn't going to get better on its own.

Ok.. well...back to working on my many projects. I pretty much live a Panera now due to the free wifi and endless hot chocolate. I feel they should just set up a table for me here and serve me drinks on regularly scheduled intervals...but that's just me.

I hope everyone else had a great weekend too and thank you again for your comments on my collarbone news from the doctor last week. You all just warmed my heart and made me feel so much better about it. I truly cannot thank you enough for your kind words on the blog, facebook etc. You're amazing and I'm blessed to have you in my life...

The Purpose of Life by Rick Warren

"People ask me, What is the purpose of life?" And I respond: In a nutshell, life is
preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body--but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal.

God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.

God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ's likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe thatanymore.

Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something
bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.

If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain."

But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.

It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.

It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence.

He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.

Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.

Third , we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.

Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism?
Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Perspective!

The Bionic Woman January 12, 2010

Sometimes you can't see the Forrest for the trees.

In other words, You just can't see the big picture, because your are immersed in the details. I'm a details kind of girl (in some instances, I guess it depends on what we are talking about!). I certainly am better at understanding a goal, committing to it, and executing the smaller details to get there when I'm passionate about what I'm doing. When people describe me in certain areas of my life they use words like driven, committed, headstrong (or bull-headed) and focused. I'm thankful that they use those words, and I find it a compliment for the most part.

In a majority of my life those things do more good than harm. They help me put forth the time and effort it takes to get things done, to work hard and steadily even when it seems like the progress isn't as fast as I would like.

However, these same things that can be looked at as positive qualities, have been known to cause a few bumps along the road as well. When I set my mind on something, watch out, because for the most part, it's a given (good or bad).

Which brings me to today's visit with Dr. Bradley. I'm not quite sure where I got it in my mind that when I showed up today he was going to give me 100% clearance seeing as I've worn my sling (90% of the time) like I was instructed. It didn't really matter though, that's what I thought, and I'm not sure anyone could have told me something different. As far as I was concerned, I had done what I was asked and now my bone would be healed and I could resume life as normal (ie thank you very much, I'll be burning this sling now and heading strait to the pool).

Before I stepped foot on the office doorstep the answer was:

A: Swimming five times per week

and the question was:

Q: How bad do you want it??

The intern came in (who didn't look nearly old enough to be a doctor - which I guess means I'm getting old) and told me that I was about 70% healed / cautioned me about asking about swimming this soon. In my usual headstrong fashion, I quickly threw caution to the wind and hovered over my x-ray as the doctor and I examined every square inch of my newly remodeled collarbone.

He was smiling.. he looked at his work, and thought it was good. "How good?" I thought.. and decided to throw it out there.

So Doc, is it time to jump back in the pool and start training??

After a very perplexed look, he explained about three times while he pointed to the hole in my bone. He said at this point I was fine to run, fine to ride, but absolutely no swimming would be taking place for another five weeks...

I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you right Doc? Something that sounded like five weeks just came out of your mouth and I can't really believe that would be the case. I took the Calcium remember?? I stayed in the sling for seven weeks?? I'm all done you see. You're just going to have to say all that again in a different way.

He raised his voice and explained it again. Nope, the words were still the same..five more weeks.

I started to tear up almost immediately and he proceeded to clear the room as quickly as he could shake my hand and open the door. Just like that.. races were removed from the schedule, and tears were running down my cheeks.

I'm quite sure that many people wouldn't understand. "You're out of the sling right?" they would say, "what's the big deal?" Well, it's hard to explain to people sometimes. Maybe it's just that I've never had a major injury before so God is giving me a special lesson in patience and perspective. Maybe I just love seeing my friends at Masters and I really miss them. Maybe this last year has just been really hard on the "Kim's Levels Of Hardness Experienced Thus Far," scale and I was hoping for a comeback of sorts this year. Maybe I was just ready for a routine that I find comfort in and enjoy working toward a goal that I felt was reachable if I could just...well....

SWIM..

None of that really matters though. When you break yourself, you have to pay the consequences and this is one of them. No swimming..for five more weeks. No St. Croix...which I have to say, I kind of had my heart set on.

Sometimes God has other plans. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way I guess.

With that said, after a few calls and some more tears, I got over myself and decided to be the best darn duathlete I possibly could for the next five weeks. I called Coach Luis and discussed the best ways to not overdo it while preparing the best I could for a late June race where I would pick up my goals where I left off. So much for backup races, in June I would put it all out there and see where it got me.

So Buffalo Springs Lake 70.3, here I come...again.

Am I really disappointed, yes. Am I convinced that everything is part of a greater plan...absolutely.

So in honor taking a few hours to be sick as a dog (which I am), cry (which I am a total girl and I did), and then come around (like I usually do)... now it's time to move on with life with a story that helped me through. Thanks John for posting it, it was just what the doctor ordered.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, " I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things, God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions-things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else-the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal." Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."