Courage

"At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing… is reason enough to celebrate." Meredith Grey.

Have I ever told you about my love of Grey's Anatomy. Well, let me say, it's quite the affair. I've never really been into a tv show before this show existed. I'm not quite sure why it took such a hold, but it was everything from the character development, monologues, messages, and the music..ohhh the music. I've loved the music on this show for as long as I can remember. I just never actually had any of it in my own possession. I never bought the soundtracks or episodes because well, sometime after 2003 I couldn't see spending the money on something like that. Music became so much more readily available and I can't remember the last time I actually bought a CD. It's been ages.

Anyway, I digress. Let's just say certain things I do ritualistically, but actually jet home, get off the phone, make time at a pre-determined interval to watch a show...I never felt the urge. Until Greys. I would be mesmerized by these doctors for a full hour week in, week out. It must have had to do with the human element that seemed to pervade every episode and the emotion was raw and unbridled.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about life lately (surprise, surprise) and how it throws us up and down, into places we could have never imagined until we actually ended up there. My life looks nothing like I thought it would at thirty. I do not have any little ones running around my feet asking me what's for dinner or a house in my name on a big lot with trees and a yard to run around in on the weekends. Regardless, I'm pretty happy about where I am and I still think good things are yet to come that I haven't even dreamed about yet. I don't think you can sit around and hoping and praying (though that has a place) that your life will magically fall into place.

At some point (if you're getting the right signs from the big man) you have to have the courage to start planning, setting goals and making steps toward what you dream about. This could be any number of things, but I'm pretty sure for most of us it may involve some racing goals, life goals etc. Life is a lot like racing triathlons... You start the race with goals and visions of your day, but your first water bottle takes flight at mile 20 and you're out for the next ten, you head into transition and your shoes have been moved and you can't find your favorite gel, so what are you going to do? Will you crumble under the pressure? Will you lay down and say this wasn't your day when you walk off the course? Or will you stand up, refocus and see just what you can make of what's left? Will you let the lessons be taught and learn what you'll change up or do differently the next time?

Triathlon not only reveals character, I believe at the end of the day it actually helps us create who we want to become (that's not my quote...thanks Brad). I was told last weekend that there is a distinct difference in what we "need" vs. what we "want." I realize this isn't a new concept, but it was said in a way that really made me think. You may want a bigger house, or a boat but you don't by any means need it. It may represent something to you i.e. more space to have parties, a life of friends and family on the water having afternoon skiing on Sundays. However, there are certain things that have become so much a part of us that they are no longer a want. They become a need. For me, that's what my active lifestyle has become. I would be lying if I tried to say it was just a want. There is so much more associated with it than just going to some race or getting a certain time. It's about seeing my friends, being active, feeling fit, seeing the sunrise and knowing I'm a better version of myself because I'm doing it day in day out, week in, week out.

I'm not sure where this lifestyle will take me, but denying that I need it would be like denying that I will breath tomorrow. Acting like I could put something else like knitting, or horse back riding in its place would be lying to myself and to others. Some things you can change, and you will change over time, but for now...this is a part of me..a big part that I love and I know God doesn't want me to give that up.

So in honor of my little monologue there, here is some Greys for you to enjoy. I finally bought the soundtrack (seasons one through three). I've been watching the reruns on Lifetime for months and I fell in love with the song "Grace" by Kate Havnevik. You have to hear it..it will change your life... really... (page 3 - #27).

I had two fortunes in my cookie today and I thought it might mean someone was trying to tell me something... well, maybe not, but I still think I agree with them!

And number two...

I leave you with one more Meredith Grey quote.. and it's a keeper..

"At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day the fairy tale might be different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may no be a castle. And it's not so important to have happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in awhile, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you, and once in awhile, people may even take your breath away."