Before I get started on this very philosophical post (I'm just warning you.. so stop reading if you want foo-foo) I wanted to point out that Bree and her friends (Annamarie, Janine, and Deb) are doing a great thing for the Holidays called "Spreading Aloha To The Marshalles." I made up my shoe box for a little girl and am sending the Newtons over this week! She could use some help so make sure you pack your boxes and get them over soon! 
My body is feeling good on some days, and even better on others.
I'm sleeping like a baby.. which never happens.. (or at least rarely does without a little over the counter help).
The packing has begun and there is a mile high pile of triathlon related gear in the extra room.
16 days, 8 hrs, 23 mins.. to the gun.
It's hard when you look back over the months and months of training and think about how much time you've put into swimming, biking, running, lifting and core work not to think triathlon surely owes you a stellar day. Your mind starts to wonder to certain times or certain goals that someone might certainly laugh directly in your face should they know you were actually entertaining them.
That's the beauty of this sport though... you JUST NEVER KNOW. The more I'm immersed in triathlon, the more I realize that hard work and consistency in workouts combined with adequate recovery and rest can HELP your chances of having "a good day" on the race day course. However, nothing, and I mean nothing my friends, is a guarantee. Triathlon doesn't owe you anything.. and all you owe yourself is doing your best out there. That's it.. end of story.
Each time my mind tries to wonder to some place of "if I could do this, then I could just get that time or place or whatever," I reign it back in with a simple statement.
"Not my own, but your will be done."
It goes against my nature, my selfish, it's all about me...I want this, I want that human nature. This is necessary and it is truly how I want to feel about my day out on the course at COZ. Good, bad or ugly.. may it result in something much bigger than myself. Sometimes our "bad" days and how we project our attitude about those "bad" days (I put "bad" in quotes because we might think missing our time goal by an hour is then end of the world but someone else might do ANYTHING to have that same day aka it's all relative) is what makes all the difference.
Rev 3's half ironman is a perfect example of this for me of this principle for me. It had been a pretty rough season up until that point. I didn't seem to be able to run in a single half ironman race yet this year. I was starting to wonder if my running would ever show back up again like it had in years past. Instead of trying to clamp down harder on a particular place or time, I let it go. Going into that race I knew that I would control the factors I could and I would leave the rest alone. It took care of itself. I was free to enjoy the day and for the first time in a long time I was really having fun out there. I was smiling and happy and giving high fives and talking to Kyle on the run... My heart was just bursting with love and overflowing with happiness.
I felt complete.
I felt like me.
I felt like I was doing what I was born to do... and man was it amazing.
So while I'd love to throw out some lofty time or place goal for 16 days from now.. I think I'll just sit back and relax a little. Go hard when coach says to kick it in the pants and rest when he says rest. Try to reign my mind back in and not grip on too tightly to any one thing. Let things roll off my back and look forward to wonderful trip I'm going to take with Kyle where we will get to enjoy many people and many things that we love.
Yeah.. don't get me wrong, I want it bad.. but I want whatever God wants for this day worse.. so I'll just have to roll with the plan until we all see what what materializes.
After all, I didn't choose this life my friends.. more and more I'm convinced that it probably chose me..
Have a good one!
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