I'm not sure what it is about Birthday's coming around that leave me introspective these days. I guess it's a combination of getting older obviously, and then at the same time, not really being at the same place as other people who already have children and things of that nature in their life.
The truth is, I really hadn't given a lot of thought to where I would be at 32 years old! At times, I'm sure I thought I'd be in a big house with 2 children doing the thing and completing my, I don't know what you call it "life plan" I guess! The good news is that at 32 years old, I love my life and even if it does meet my 20 year old expectations, it meets my definition of a place where I am really at peace with who I am and the person I am striving to become. I certainly am no where close to reaching that person character-wise, and sometimes I still do some really dumb, silly, ridiculous things.. but maybe I have to get some more of that out before I'm ready to have those little kiddos running around! Naaahhh who are we kidding.. I'll still be doing dumb things even if I have those little rug rats!
At 32 I was trying to think of some things that I've learned and I came up with a few:
1. My family, friends and those I care about come first, always.. and if they need me, I best drop everything and be there. They are the most important thing in my life and it should always be that way.
2. It takes a LONG time to master things - 10,000 hours by some estimates, so I had better learn to be patient with myself and those around me at times. Patience IS a virtue and one I need to work on big time!
3. I'm pretty versatile / adaptable, more so than I thought. I used to worry about what people thought of me and the fact that my life / thoughts / ideas / structure / goals / priorities didn't match theirs. Now I realize there is enough room in this world for all of these and I don't worry so much about what they think. Whatever!
4. You have to cherish the small things - a note from a friend, your health, time with friends etc. etc. because they are such a blessing in my life.
5. I'm a work in progress. The farther I come in this journey, the more I realize I still have so far to go. The people being brought into my life these days are very good people, big hearts and they care about me so much.. I need to learn from them because they are so wise! Most of them are between 50 yrs young and 80 yrs young and they are some of the hippest, most interesting people ever!
6. Life is hard, but it's supposed to be that way. Everyone says bad things happen for a reason, well, I believe sometimes they do, and sometimes the reason is strait up a spiritual battle. What you do with those things is what makes all the difference. I've seen people crumble this year and I've seen people find inner strength because of their faith and inspire hundreds if not thousands of people. It rocks my world... life needs to be hard because it sorts through and remolds our character constantly. This is a good thing.. not that it makes it any easier!
7. Helping others should never be about me. Any time I start to get all "oh - I did a good thing" I have to remind myself that I stink and that one little thing really was nothing in the scheme of things.. remember the goal Kim, remember the goal. Fighting my human nature is a life long battle, but I don't intend to give up any time soon.
8. The hardest things in life are also the most rewarding. Seeing athletes struggle and toil, trying to keep them on course, believing in them, investing in them, never giving up.. watching them work and work.. then one day, it happens.. they have a breakthrough! They are SO happy! Seeing this happen spills over and teaches them, and me, about LIFE and about how it works.. if it was easy, everyone would do it.
9. It's ok to rest. I don't do it enough, in fact, I don't do it NEARLY enough. The times I finally llet my mind go and let the man upstairs do his thing are some of the best times ever. They renew me, lift me up and remind me just what a gift this life truly is...
10. I'm never giving up on my dreams. I believe God blesses us when we are doing his work and when we are striving, despite all odds, to continue. Whatever it is that you're doing, if you're doing it for the right reasons... NEVER EVER give in to those negative thoughts that tell you - you're not good enough, you don't deserve this, just give it up and let it go. Perseverance is necessary and in time, will be rewarded (even if its just with a lesson that we needed to learn).
If you've made it this far, make it a little farther with me!
Kyle and I are really trying to save money this year, well a combination of that and between river leases, propane, car repairs etc. etc. that we just don't have a lot of extra floating around! We've decided to go basically "no gifts" for Birthdays etc.
This morning I received the best gift of all from him.. and it didn't cost a thing.. but it must have taken him so much time.. and to us, that's the most valuable thing of all..
I hope you enjoy the VIDEO he made me about a big part of my life these days! It meant so much to me and trust me, we have been through SO much together that it means even more.