And this ain't it.
I'd love to tell you that every day I wake up and feel awesome about my training and life etc. Let's be realists though shall we, some days, we just don't feel like that. Most of the people reading this blog are pretty positive upbeat people. There's a reason why the average salary of the Ironman races is $160,000 dollars (still, that seems reaaaally high). We're go getters aren't we?! I mean, for the most part, endurance athletes are highly motivated people who often bite off more than they can chew and sometimes end up in a little over their heads. Can I get an Amen from the peanut gallery?!
One of my resolutions for the new year was to "take on" a little less. Less new organizations, projects etc. and be a bit more selective when deciding where to spend my time. Life is all about priorities. I knew making this leap from Amateur to Pro wasn't going to be easy and at the same time, would require a whole new level of priority in my life.
It's taken me a few months to get the stars to align and make this move from full time...about two more than I wanted, but that's here nor there. Let's just say, I'm not even close to where I "thought/wanted" to be at this time of year, but there is no sense on dwelling on that part of things.
We all are juggling a million things and at times we get a glimpse of "what it takes" to do something great. It's a symphony of life and faith, willpower and countless hours of hard work, sweat, blood and tears...but we do it because we believe that the next race is a whole new opportunity to start fresh and put ourselves out there. I'm the same as everyone else in that respect and it's invigorating and even addicting to dream these big dreams and believe they can come true if the fates allow.
Starting next week, I feel like my real journey to being a pro can begin. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and I can almost feel the sun bursting through the clouds, warming my skin and my face hurt from smiling.
It's Feb 8th and I don't even feel remotely prepared to stand alongside the other professionals in this sport, but come April 1st, I hope to be in a little bit of a better place. These last few weeks of grinding it out have only made me hungrier for this new life that where I can make some of my own decisions about when, where, and how long I can train. You know what... it's about damn time.
I hope to remember that when I'm on my double swim days, butt killing me I've been in the saddle so long days, or run until my legs are about to fall off days. I hope I recall that those times where I felt like I was chained to this desk and killing myelf to fit a 50 minute bike in over lunch.
Even if I don't completely know what it takes yet to take my game to the next level, I hope to soon and when that time comes, I hope I relish it and give it every last ounce of focus from workouts to recovery.
I've been waiting and long time.... guess what folks.... times up.
Thanks for the unbelievable, amazing, encouraging, uplifting awesomeness that some of you wrote as a response to my last blog :) You believe in me and it means the world. Thank you for cancelling out all the negative energy with love and kindness flowing from your hearts!
I'll leave you with some random pictures from my life / phone!
A wonderful present I found while cleaning out my office! What a friend I have to take the time to decorate this amazing bag and get me ready to go to Kona! Thank you Lisa! Love you dear!
Some cuties I saw on my run this weekend! I was listening to "Oh you fancy huh" by Drake Fancy featuring TI. Seemed very appropriate somehow!
Doing a study here in Pittsburgh for a research lab and this involved THREE VO2 tests / lactate tests! I did the second one this morning! They hurt, but since you look so lovely in the gear, you just keep coming back :) Ha! It is interesting learning more about these types of things and I enjoy it! Really! While looking like a total dork!