It's all about.... Hope

I wasn't able to attend the Ballou Skies Team Photo shoot, but it doesn't mean I wasn't there in spirit. This year is a very special year. We've added three great new members to the team (welcome Lisa, Bill & Ben!). We have a renewed strength together and a big goal, no a HUGE goal of raising $100,000 for research for Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. This is pretty lofty, yep, we know.. A majority of us would have never gotten this far if it wasn't for lofty goals and we're not about to stop now :)

To that end, today for Leap Day, we are holding the Ballou Skies Leap Day Donation Drive and Newton Shoe Raffle! A monetary donation of any size received today, will enter your name into a drawing to win one of three pair of Newton running shoes being raffled off! Please share the news, give what you can, and have HOPE!

So don't miss out! This is a great chance to help boys just like Ryan Ballou who has touched my life is such a positive way. Thank you Ryan. I wouldn't be half the athlete I am without being able to ask myself when all is on the line...who am I really in this for? Is it all about me, or is it about doing something that may just allow someone to live another day healthy and happy. Since meeting you..the choice is easy.

Donate today if you have $5.00 to spare or $50.00 every step is a step closer to the goal.

Thank you for your support! With Hope, anything is possible!

It's all Good.

I have lots and lots of news :) Unfortunately, it's either keep working and training and making my coach and clients happy, or write about it here! I can't BELIEVE I'm this busy after saying goodbye to the full time job! Geez! I guess you could call training / coaching / nutrition counseling the full time job and that really does fill up 40 hours (and really, more) quicker than you can say go!

The good news is that its really really hard.. and I love it. I'm so so thankful that I made this decision and that God provided the opportunities to make it happen. Last week was epic in terms of training and I can't wait to have time to write all about it! Hopefully soon!! Training camp in South Carolina with Miss Beth was truly amazing and included lots of adventures and interesting happenings!

I've now relocated to Florida for the next three weeks to train in the sun and see my Mom! It's been fun so far, but the lack of working (and monster training) caught up with me over the weekend so I was left working Friday, Saturday AND Sunday night (the joys of being a small business owner!).

Thanks for the kind comments on the last blog! It's so good to know you can emphasize with the fears and the hopes and everything in between. I'm a lucky girl..

Life is good isn't it!

Where Preparation Meets Opportunity

Sometimes I think back on my first 32 years. I think about how each and every step, decision, opportunity and even set-back guided my steps and taught me something. In the early years it was making the decision to try out for the cross-country team at Penn State. Putting in those countless hours of training over the summer with the hopes of walking onto the team with some of the best athletes in the country.

Later it was deciding that I was more than just a walk-on. In my heart, I knew that I was meant to be there, with those girls, that we were destined to be part of something. What, I had no idea...but I knew I wouldn't rest until I found out. After almost dropping out of school due to massive amounts of anxiety produced by racing at such a high level, I finally started to make peace with the pressure. Slowly, I began to realize how to function with it, live with it, accept it and even use it.

Moving on again it was marathon training, Columbus.. Boston.. I started to push my body harder. The years passed and it was time for a new challenge. Coming out of the water last in my first triathlon. It hurt.. I was an athlete.. I was supposed to be good. Surprise, I was worse than average.. in fact, I wasn't even on the same scale as average.

Fast forward, three years. I stood at the starting line of the World Championships, the best in our sport trembling in fear and awe. I had never done an Ironman, but by the time the sun set that day I would hear those words "YOU are an IRONMAN", that I knew. No matter how long it took me, no matter how hard it was.. I made a promise.. I would finish.

Four years later and here we are. Just you and me. I'm scared again. I have doubts all of the time. I imagine what it might be like to come in dead last in a professional race. How it will make me feel and how I will look at it if it happens. For me, I have to come to terms with that ahead of time so that I can face that fear and let it go. What's the worst that can happen really? No one will have died, no one will have gotten a disease, nothing really of note.. I of course don't want that to happen, nor do I think it will, but that's part of the process of letting go of your fears and being willing to accept whatever comes as an opportunity to learn, to assess and to see what needs to happen next. I'm ok with that.. I'm more than ok with that. I'd rather come in last than not give this a shot. It's not even about "winning" either, although nice, that can't be even a remotely sole motivating factor. If it was, most of us wouldn't come back, day after day, year after year - agree??

For the first time I'm training like a professional triathlete. Day after day I'm spending the 4-8 hours I would usually spend at a desk on a bike, in a pool, running or lifting. I'm doing the little things.. the rolling, the stretching, the self massage. I'm doing all the things I always wanted to do and it feels strange. It feels more real now... am I really doing this? Can it really happen? I ask myself those things all the time.. Then I have a talk with myself and realize this is where it starts.. day after day, just like it did all the other years, week after week... building, sweating, putting in the miles (there are just more to put in now).

I know I'm not alone in my journey. There are so many others who have done the same.. believed when they had doubts, came to terms with their weaknesses and worked tirelessly to make them strengths, gave themselves permission to dream even when they were scared they'd never be good enough. That's where I am now and that's why I loved this video.

Thanks to those who never stopped believing.. people like Jeremy Lin who waited patiently for preparation to meet opportunity.

You never know when you're number is going to be called.. I don't know about you...

but I'm going to be ready....

Time to head out on that four hour bike ride! Here we go!!

I Know What It Takes..

And this ain't it.

I'd love to tell you that every day I wake up and feel awesome about my training and life etc. Let's be realists though shall we, some days, we just don't feel like that. Most of the people reading this blog are pretty positive upbeat people. There's a reason why the average salary of the Ironman races is $160,000 dollars (still, that seems reaaaally high). We're go getters aren't we?! I mean, for the most part, endurance athletes are highly motivated people who often bite off more than they can chew and sometimes end up in a little over their heads. Can I get an Amen from the peanut gallery?!

One of my resolutions for the new year was to "take on" a little less. Less new organizations, projects etc. and be a bit more selective when deciding where to spend my time. Life is all about priorities. I knew making this leap from Amateur to Pro wasn't going to be easy and at the same time, would require a whole new level of priority in my life.

It's taken me a few months to get the stars to align and make this move from full time...about two more than I wanted, but that's here nor there. Let's just say, I'm not even close to where I "thought/wanted" to be at this time of year, but there is no sense on dwelling on that part of things.

We all are juggling a million things and at times we get a glimpse of "what it takes" to do something great. It's a symphony of life and faith, willpower and countless hours of hard work, sweat, blood and tears...but we do it because we believe that the next race is a whole new opportunity to start fresh and put ourselves out there. I'm the same as everyone else in that respect and it's invigorating and even addicting to dream these big dreams and believe they can come true if the fates allow.

Starting next week, I feel like my real journey to being a pro can begin. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and I can almost feel the sun bursting through the clouds, warming my skin and my face hurt from smiling.

It's Feb 8th and I don't even feel remotely prepared to stand alongside the other professionals in this sport, but come April 1st, I hope to be in a little bit of a better place. These last few weeks of grinding it out have only made me hungrier for this new life that where I can make some of my own decisions about when, where, and how long I can train. You know what... it's about damn time.

I hope to remember that when I'm on my double swim days, butt killing me I've been in the saddle so long days, or run until my legs are about to fall off days. I hope I recall that those times where I felt like I was chained to this desk and killing myelf to fit a 50 minute bike in over lunch.

Even if I don't completely know what it takes yet to take my game to the next level, I hope to soon and when that time comes, I hope I relish it and give it every last ounce of focus from workouts to recovery.

I've been waiting and long time.... guess what folks.... times up.

Thanks for the unbelievable, amazing, encouraging, uplifting awesomeness that some of you wrote as a response to my last blog :) You believe in me and it means the world. Thank you for cancelling out all the negative energy with love and kindness flowing from your hearts!

I'll leave you with some random pictures from my life / phone!

A wonderful present I found while cleaning out my office! What a friend I have to take the time to decorate this amazing bag and get me ready to go to Kona! Thank you Lisa! Love you dear!

Some cuties I saw on my run this weekend! I was listening to "Oh you fancy huh" by Drake Fancy featuring TI. Seemed very appropriate somehow!

Doing a study here in Pittsburgh for a research lab and this involved THREE VO2 tests / lactate tests! I did the second one this morning! They hurt, but since you look so lovely in the gear, you just keep coming back :) Ha! It is interesting learning more about these types of things and I enjoy it! Really! While looking like a total dork!

A New Chapter

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it - Ferris Buller's Day Off.

I love that quote. It's so true isn't it? In the blink of an eye, 10 years have past and you're sitting in the same chair, at the same office, doing the same things each day.

Change is hard. Change is the only constant though and we either adapt, adjust and change with it, or we stick our heels in and weather one hell of a storm.

I've known for quite some time that some big changes were necessary in my life. Even though parts of my career I have absolutely loved, some parts (and some people actually) not so much. It was necessary to cut out the fat and leave behind the things that were bringing me down and not helping me to reach my full potential as a person and as an athlete. Sometimes you have to take a calculated jump and that's exactly what I've been preparing to do (for two long years!).

Many of you know how hard I've been working, evenings, weekends...coaching, developing materials, presentations, doing nutrition counseling. I've built a business from the ground up. It has been anything but easy, but it's mine and all the frustration and mis-haps and all the wonderful things are mine too. It's been worth every second I've spent on it and the benefits have outweighed every other part.

So, I am proud to say I am leaving my full time position as a Corporate Dietitian and taking the risk of this new venture. It's scary, but mostly, it's wickedly exciting. I'm a small business owner. Yep, not something I thought I would ever say!!

The athletes I work with have made me laugh (sometimes cry!) but mostly, they've made me happy and helped me realize this is what I was meant to do. Speaking, presenting, teaching, coaching and changing the world one little piece of peoples' lives at a time.. yep, that's my gig.

I'd like to say a special thank you to those who consistently attempted to make it harder on me.. you know those people, the haters. I'd like to thank them the most because it fueled me on the long nights when I would be up late working away, all the Saturdays I spent after training making my business what it is today. I appreciate you helping me to make this change a reality and make my dreams come true. If you wouldn't have been so nasty, well, I might not be where I am! So, thanks so much!

I'm so very thankful for those of you who have supported me as well. Without you, this would never be possible and I'm just so excited.

Sometimes I dream of writing a book as well..

I think the first line would be..

"I was 32 years old, and I started my life."

Here's to the next 32! May they "Fuel Your Passion" and help you get out there and make it happen!!!
Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.