As some of you might have guessed from previous posts, I've been having a rather rough go of it over the last few months. When it rains, it pours and that is most likely the understatement of the century here.
As a result, the much abbreviated version is that I knew it was necessary for me to get back to some things that made sense and that I knew would help my very depressed and down and out state of mind.
I missed my friends and training partners from the gym terribly. Working at home is probably fine for some people, and may even be fine for me someday, but at this point in my life, it just wasn't working. I wasn't as productive, and I grew progressively lonelier and lonelier until I seemed to loose touch with myself and the world. Instead of seeking help, and looking to those close to me, I did all the wrong things and it has been so hard on Kyle and I that I'm praying we can recover, but there are no guarantees, not in marriage, and not in life.
With that said, I came back to the place that I last felt like myself a bit, and where I had a support system to train again. I moved back to Pittsburgh.
I've rented a small house and am working on fixing it up and making it feel a bit less empty. In the mean time, I spent my first day back at the gym yesterday and received such a warm welcome, almost as if I was a family member finally coming back from a long trip.
Words can never express how lucky I am to have family, friends, and acquaintances in my life, both in my hometown, and here in Pitt., that love me and offer a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on.
Thank you for the thoughts and prayers. I'm still getting used to things, being back in the office is good for me for now, and although everything feels weird and new, it's also familiar and I'm trying to look at the positives and pray for the best.
I'm looking forward to developing a routine again (which we all know most triathletes do VERY well with) and getting some outside help to sort through some of the emotional issues.
It will be a long road, but one that at the end, I'm sure I will be glad I have taken because if you don't work on yourself, how can you be the best you can be to help others. I keep telling myself that somehow, someday, this too shall pass and I will be able to share with people on a personal level about what I've been through and how I made it to the other side. That thought gives me comfort and allows me to get up every morning thanking God for yet another chance to live and become a bit more who he wants me to be.
Thinking of everyone out there who either has been through hard times, or has yet to, it's always one or the other!