Thursday, September 1, 2011

Apology

Sometimes we write things in haste. Actually, let's be honest, most of the time, I write things in haste. I live a fast life. One that leaves the house before 5:30am most mornings and doesn't return home until 8:45pm like last evening. This life isn't for everyone, in fact, sometimes, its even a little too much for me, but for now.. it's the only option I have to keep everything going at the same time.

This fast life sometimes leads to me trying to throw together a blog in about 7 minutes. Let it be known, I do not think this is the best approach. In fact, let it be known I even think this is a poor approach, but that sometimes it is the only option I have. The other option is not to write for a couple of weeks (which probably, at times, should be taken). Sometimes I over do it. Sometimes I write down my thoughts and feelings so fast that they come out wrong. This can lead to hurt feelings and bad blood. It's never my intention, but that doesn't change the fact that it happens.

I do wish that sometimes people would give me the benefit of the doubt. However, that's another story. My friends who know me well, know that I am not a mean or malicious person. They also know I have a tendency to forget to run things through the filter that everyone else seems to have between their brain and their mouth. This leads to me coming off as a very sincere and honest person, but can also lead to me coming off as a jerk at times because the true meaning of what I am thinking is clouded by the poor use of language to get my point across.

My point here is that if there is anyone reading this blog that I have offended in the past, or will offend in the future, you should come to me, and I will discuss it with you and admit when I am wrong and need to say "I'm sorry, that was the wrong way to do things, please, accept my apology." I put myself out there, and the very nature of doing this leads to these type of situations. This blog is public. People from my company read it - yep, I know you do. Family reads it, my Dad reads it, and my friends read it. People I don't even know read it. Sometimes they form opinions on reading only. That's a risk I take. I'm willing to do that. For me doing this my way, because it is my blog, is important.

Do I wish I had more time to make it grammatically correct and go over it a few times to make sure the actual take away portrays the meaning of my post - yes. Does that mean I will have time to do that most of the time. Nope.

Kyle has said many times, if I don't have 30 mins to an hour to write my blog, and check it, then I should not write it. Part of me agrees with him. Part of me just can't subscribe to that method. I'd never write. Ever. Or I wouldn't sleep.

I'm only writing this to let people know, I'm doing my best here. If my best isn't good enough for you, then feel free to stop reading my blog. I'm fine with that. If you care about me as a person, and I've ever offended you with something I've written - come to me, don't talk about me behind my back or say harsh things - I'll discuss it with you and I'll always say when I have made a mistake. I care about the people in my life immensely, and if my words impact them in a negative way I take that seriously. Never would I want something to bring someone down or make them feel badly. I try not to be prideful or boastful... and I don't believe I am better or above making a mistake. I make plenty of them, and I try (remember I said TRY) to learn from them most of the time.

I'm so very fortunate to have people in my life that support me and love me, that build me up and allow me to slowly become the person I am meant to be. These people know my heart and love me regardless of all of my flaws and mistakes. How lucky am I?

I have a feeling my last post might have done some damage. If it did, I am sorry. It was not my intent. I do not even remotely believe that there are better swimmers at Pitt Masters / they are the best swimmers in Pittsburgh than at my previous masters swimming at the YMCA. That was not even remotely what I meant. I loved the group at the Y and I enjoyed ever bit of my time with them. They made me better and now I am ready to have a coach on deck and take that to the next level because that is what I PERSONALLY need and feel I would benefit from. However, let's be adult about this shall we. If you have time to talk about it, you have time to come to me. So please, do, and I will let you know my thoughts and feelings.. always, honestly and without sugar-coating. Triathlon and my circles of friends are small.. and I realize that sometimes helps, and sometimes, bites you in the arse. It is in our nature to talk about things, and it is not necessarily in our nature to forgive or to love. However, it doesn't stop us from trying to do these things.. and without them, there really is no purpose or meaning in our life. At least that's what I think.

That's all I really have to say on this matter. I felt the need to speak out about it and I hope it is taken in the right vein.

Thanks,
Kim

19 comments:

Christi said...

Well, I don't know what happened with the last post but I will say you have not offended me with any of your posts. Granted I live far away and really only know you through the blog and our brief interactions last year. However, having said that I understand how blogs can come off wrong sometimes. I did a post like that not long ago. I had written the post to pep myself up but people took it another way. All I can say is that I write for myself and that is all we can do. Sometimes we make our point well and sometimes we do not.

I am not going anywhere so please keep writing!

Michelle Simmons said...

I just re-read your previous blog and can't for the life of me figure out even one word that would have offended anyone?? If someone was offended, they are too damn sensitive or reading into something that was not there. Keep your blog just like it is. Honest ones are so.much.better than fake ones! :)

GoBigGreen said...

Oh man i can only guess. No worries on my end, its your blog and gee i write my blogs in about 20 minutes if that. Keep on writing sister:) it kinda reminds me of a saying my good friend gave me..." Friendship is when people know all about you but like you anyways." so insert...."Blog friends are friends that know all about you and still support and read you anyways." :)

Jennifer Harrison said...

I agree with Michelle. I have NO idea why your last blog made someone (s) offended...remember, you can't control how people respond ! Keep doing what you're doing. I am sure I offend people daily. LOL

Kim said...

Kim - i'm with michelle on this one. i'm not seeing what you wrote that possibly could have offended a reader. this is YOUR blog - you can write whatever the heck you want - and people can choose to read what you have to say, or not. you are a fantastic person kim, don't let someone bring you down.

Anonymous said...

Like my grandma always says, F 'em!

Jamie said...

Unlike Christi, i have been DEEPLY offended by your recent writing.

Your jokes about pooping your pants while racing were childish, distasteful and grossly inappropriate.

I do not accept your apology.

Who am I kidding? Poop jokes are always funny and appropriate. No clue why anyone was offended, but don't make that change your writing! I like it just the way it is.

elizabeth said...

I'm with Michelle, I had to re-read your last post to see what could have fueled such a fire and I cannot for the life of me find anything. Keep your blog just the way it is and keep speaking as openly as you do. I unfortunately took my blog down after I felt the need to filter so much out of what I was writing due to the various readers I had. Keep up the great work Kim, your schedule is a tough one and takes a strong woman to handle it day after day. Can't wait for you to ROCK Kona!!!

ironmomma.com said...

Here is the deal, never edit yourself. Never. This blog stuff, it's not CNN. Have your opinion. Have your feelings. There is a big red X in the upper right corner, people who don't like it.... don't read it. Don't change a damn thing sister. Stay who you are. Adjust for no one and nothing. That's why I love you sister!

Shevaun said...

Not sure why someone was offended. I agree with the previous comments. Don't let the haters get you down.

Jeremy said...

When I first saw your blog title, I thought for sure you would be apologizing to tapeworm hosts, but upon reading further, I see that it is to territorial, overly sensitive swimmers. Yeah, TPIT and Baierl are ok programs, but what about Sewickley?! We are the best! I really dislike you, Kim. ;-)

Kiet said...

I was so offended that you mentioned my name in that last blog and you didn't say that I'm pretty. Yes, I know you said that I am funny and smart, but damn it, I'm pretty too Kim, and I'm offended that you left that part out. Can you please be more thoughtful and sensitive to MY feelings? I'm considering never coming back to this blog EVER again!

Barb said...

I am with everyone else. WHAT?! People are too sensitive sometimes. Or maybe they're all sleep-deprived Ironman training people who cannot control their emotions when sleep-deprived. Not that I have that issue. Um, right. Anyway. I love your blog so if you can only blog for 20 minutes I say do it anyway :)

Teresa said...

I know you do your best at everything and it is all because you care so much, it shows in more ways than one. Keep on doing what you do...inspire, help and live your dreams!

Steve said...

Oh geez, I always throw my stuff out there, and feel absolutely HORRIBLE a lot of the time too.

I sorta took offense at the picture remark, ya know blogs without pictures are boring, but it didn't mean anything.

I wasn't going to hold it against you. :) LOL

Have a good day and weekend Kim Kim Kim :)

Austin said...

I have to call BS on this one.
If you type anywhere near as fast as you talk, swim, bike, or run - then none of these posts can possibly take you more than 30 seconds. Seven minutes - yeah right...
And I'm with Jamie - nothing makes a good blog like poop stories.

Kim said...

I am laughing at all these comments.. obviously some of you have dealt with similar situations.. I'm doing my best to take this one in stride and realize that girls will be girls.. which is exactly what is happening here! Thanks for sharing your stories / words!

Dr. TriRunner said...

Hahahha... do you really need an 18th comment saying "WTF? What did you say....?" Probably not. But I have no idea what you possibly could have said.

I also fall in with the [un?]fortunate few without a verbal filter. Sometimes it is helpful in that I am not physically capable of beating around any type of bush. But other times I'm sure it comes across as inconsiderate. In which case, I agree - you can offer an apology, and if that's not enough, people can stop reading the blog.

But what I really want say most of the time, is HTFU and quit crying. What a classy lady I am... ;)

Anonymous said...

Kim Your blogs are what get me up and going. You are probably one of the most good and sensitive people I have ever met, if the not the best. I have no idea why anyone would not want the best for you. As far as the passes go well you know. Take care your old lady friend. Love ya