Apology

Sometimes we write things in haste. Actually, let's be honest, most of the time, I write things in haste. I live a fast life. One that leaves the house before 5:30am most mornings and doesn't return home until 8:45pm like last evening. This life isn't for everyone, in fact, sometimes, its even a little too much for me, but for now.. it's the only option I have to keep everything going at the same time.

This fast life sometimes leads to me trying to throw together a blog in about 7 minutes. Let it be known, I do not think this is the best approach. In fact, let it be known I even think this is a poor approach, but that sometimes it is the only option I have. The other option is not to write for a couple of weeks (which probably, at times, should be taken). Sometimes I over do it. Sometimes I write down my thoughts and feelings so fast that they come out wrong. This can lead to hurt feelings and bad blood. It's never my intention, but that doesn't change the fact that it happens.

I do wish that sometimes people would give me the benefit of the doubt. However, that's another story. My friends who know me well, know that I am not a mean or malicious person. They also know I have a tendency to forget to run things through the filter that everyone else seems to have between their brain and their mouth. This leads to me coming off as a very sincere and honest person, but can also lead to me coming off as a jerk at times because the true meaning of what I am thinking is clouded by the poor use of language to get my point across.

My point here is that if there is anyone reading this blog that I have offended in the past, or will offend in the future, you should come to me, and I will discuss it with you and admit when I am wrong and need to say "I'm sorry, that was the wrong way to do things, please, accept my apology." I put myself out there, and the very nature of doing this leads to these type of situations. This blog is public. People from my company read it - yep, I know you do. Family reads it, my Dad reads it, and my friends read it. People I don't even know read it. Sometimes they form opinions on reading only. That's a risk I take. I'm willing to do that. For me doing this my way, because it is my blog, is important.

Do I wish I had more time to make it grammatically correct and go over it a few times to make sure the actual take away portrays the meaning of my post - yes. Does that mean I will have time to do that most of the time. Nope.

Kyle has said many times, if I don't have 30 mins to an hour to write my blog, and check it, then I should not write it. Part of me agrees with him. Part of me just can't subscribe to that method. I'd never write. Ever. Or I wouldn't sleep.

I'm only writing this to let people know, I'm doing my best here. If my best isn't good enough for you, then feel free to stop reading my blog. I'm fine with that. If you care about me as a person, and I've ever offended you with something I've written - come to me, don't talk about me behind my back or say harsh things - I'll discuss it with you and I'll always say when I have made a mistake. I care about the people in my life immensely, and if my words impact them in a negative way I take that seriously. Never would I want something to bring someone down or make them feel badly. I try not to be prideful or boastful... and I don't believe I am better or above making a mistake. I make plenty of them, and I try (remember I said TRY) to learn from them most of the time.

I'm so very fortunate to have people in my life that support me and love me, that build me up and allow me to slowly become the person I am meant to be. These people know my heart and love me regardless of all of my flaws and mistakes. How lucky am I?

I have a feeling my last post might have done some damage. If it did, I am sorry. It was not my intent. I do not even remotely believe that there are better swimmers at Pitt Masters / they are the best swimmers in Pittsburgh than at my previous masters swimming at the YMCA. That was not even remotely what I meant. I loved the group at the Y and I enjoyed ever bit of my time with them. They made me better and now I am ready to have a coach on deck and take that to the next level because that is what I PERSONALLY need and feel I would benefit from. However, let's be adult about this shall we. If you have time to talk about it, you have time to come to me. So please, do, and I will let you know my thoughts and feelings.. always, honestly and without sugar-coating. Triathlon and my circles of friends are small.. and I realize that sometimes helps, and sometimes, bites you in the arse. It is in our nature to talk about things, and it is not necessarily in our nature to forgive or to love. However, it doesn't stop us from trying to do these things.. and without them, there really is no purpose or meaning in our life. At least that's what I think.

That's all I really have to say on this matter. I felt the need to speak out about it and I hope it is taken in the right vein.

Thanks,

Kim