Ready or Not!

It's time to race with Lance. Well, maybe not "with" Lance.. but nothing like walking into your first pro meeting already wanting to either puke or pee your pants and there sits one of the greatest endurance athletes of all time.. No biggie.. It's just Lance Armstrong, 7 time Tour de France winner.

I've thought a couple times about pulling the "I'm a new pro and this is my first race, can I get a picture with you card" and you know what.. if the timing is right, I think I'm going for it. Worst that can happen, he says no right!?!

Needless to say, I'm extremely nervous about this weekend. I'd like to pretend like I'm not, but I'd be lying. I go through periods of being really calm and collected to like all out scared. Of what I ask myself.. Really?! There's 100% NOTHING to be afraid of here. I'm not the defending champion, in fact, I'm so far down on the women's list of starters that I'm lucky I still made it on there ;)

Doesn't change the fact that I get all wigged out too sometimes. No ones expecting me to go and win the race (or even place for that matter) so there certainly isn't any pressure, that's not the pressure that usually matters anyway. It's the pressure from you know who... you know.. that little voice inside your head that tells you that you're not good enough, that you don't belong, that you're in over your head, that you haven't trained enough, that you're just not going to do well.. how could you possibly considering these girls have been at it for years and you've had a good solid one month of training this year thus far! You know those voices too don't you?!

Then I realize how many people are behind me.. how hard I've worked to get to this point, the countless hours it's taken, the six years of triathlon that started in 2006, the times I dreamed of stepping up to this starting line and the fact that I earned my right to be here by winning two amateur Ironmans DANG IT!! That was me I tell them.. !! I stare those voices down and my belief in a greater plan and the fact that I am right where I am supposed to be beats them down with one big fat ugly stick.

I'm sure they'll rear their ugly head again before Sunday, but that's ok.. I've got my stick of faith, love and hope that is shined up and ready to swing. Courage is part of this game folks. Every time we step up to the line, we've already overcome a great battle of hardships in workouts, mental games and injuries. If we give ourselves the chance, the real chance to go out there and be free of bonds that worry us and the "what if's" that hold us down... well, we might just see something that we've never seen in ourselves before.

I'm ready to go into the hurt box this weekend. Whatever comes out on the other side, well, at least I'll know something. It's time to know something. I can't keep training without, at the very least, knowing how far I have yet to go. If that doesn't motivate me to really step it up, well.. then I don't know what will.

The start line will of course include champions galore, but that doesn't matter much to me. All that really matters to me is that I put it out there, learn about this and come out smiling and thankful on the other side. If I do that, even if it looks like I've lost, I've won...and maybe someday I'll come back with a podium place to show it.

I have an amazing husband who supports me 110%, great family and friends, super friends through the blog world that leave me messages that make me feel like I can do anything.. who can stop me right!?

In the mean time, I'll be sporting one bad ass kit designed by the one, the only...Betty Designs. Kristin is a class act who has built and amazing business from the ground up and has inspired me with her tenacity and passion for what she does. She's taking triathlon gear to the next level and if I could afford all of it, I would buy every last thing she has! So, check her out if you have time.

Look for me in blue, for Ballou Skies! DON"T FORGET THE CONTEST from the last blog where you can win a free nutrition counseling session just by donating!

Thank you to my other sponsors that are helping me along in this rookie season - Top Gear Bicycle Shop, Powerbar, Blueseventy, and Newton.

I HEART my new kit so even if I'm bringing up the rear, I'm going to be doing it in style!

Here's to making dreams come true! Let's do this thing!!! Thanks to all of you who have been part of this journey. Ready or not.. let's let it rip shall we :)