Kona 2011 Afterthoughts...

(note: This is not water, these are blisters)
I'm glad I wrote my race report right away. It was all pretty fresh right then and I think to revisit is later, would have just hurt. It still stings a little when I think about it. After every race, I tell my athletes to write down some things that went well, and some things they want to change for next time. This is just a part of the sport. It's best to do it when we are fresh (preferably with pictures too if it helps keep it at the forefront in your mind).

The thing about Ironman is that we don't just prepare for a week or even a month for an Ironman. We prepare for a year. How many races or events require somewhere around a year to seven months to get ready. Not many. That's probably why there aren't a ton of us that do this!

The other thing that is interesting is that triathlon continues to grow. What I've found...people like a challenge. Sometimes they reach this point in their life where things just aren't panning out the way they thought. They are in the middle of their years, sitting at a desk job all day, not feeling young active or anything remotely close to it. Maybe it was their friend that talked them into it. Maybe it was just waking up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night with the feeling that something has to give. Either way, I think it's a good thing. If they are lucky, the begin their journey right then and there. They start reading online, they figure out how to take the first step. It's not a huge step to a sprint, but it invigorates them, breathes life into them. They feel their first finish line that required not one, but THREE sports to get to it and they fall intensely in love with it.

Sometimes that's all it takes.

For those of us that have done this for awhile, we still remember our first times toeing the line. How scared we were, how crazy it felt to be grabbing this bike and jumping on! Oh and let us not forget, the SWIM for those of us who didn't grow up swimming.

Mistakes are a part of triathlon, and a part of life. If we are not making mistakes, we are not growing, and if we are not growing, then what the heck are we even doing here on this earth. However, it has also been said that repeating the same mistakes over and over again and expecting to get different results is the definition of insanity. I might be crazy, but insane, well, I like to THINK I am not.

I made a few grave errors in Kona and the thing about Kona is that it has no forgiveness. None. It's so harsh and so brutal that any mistake you make is magnified by 110%. In any other race, you might be able to bring things back around. There, it's a different story. It just burns more, wind whips you more, sun bakes you more, heat dehydrates you more and your mind seems to play with you more (at least for me in comparison to my other races).

Hot races are difficult for me.

There. I said it. Hi, my name is Kim and I am a MASSIVE sweater. If I am not SPOT ON with my nutrition, I might as well pack it up, walk off the course and tell everyone else to have a nice day. I cannot keep having this same talk about dehydration. Personally, I'm sick of it. St. Croix 2008, Clearwater 2009, Buffalo Springs Lake 2010 and now Kona 2011. One race per year I'm just botching it up. It impacts my race so greatly and I need to start really taking a look at what else I can do. Make no mistake, I mentally realize what's going on pre race and post race and my PLAN is sound.. but at the times during the race, when my salt gets low and I'm in the heat of competition, my decision making process is not "on" and that is why I'm making bad choices. If I have to practice switching from Infinite to Ironman perform half way through my long rides.. then I'll just have to do it. I kept thinking - no, Infinite will always taste good, my body will always be fine with it. You know what, sometimes you just have a day where your body wants to do something else. In that case, you better have a plan B and have practiced with it. That was precisely why I didn't switch in Kona, I hadn't practiced and I wasn't risking it. In hindsight, probably should have just switched because the end result wasn't what I wanted either.

Second though, sunscreen. I've always had really good luck with Kinesis sunscreen. For some reason this race, I disregarded that important fact. I just used whatever was available to me from people that morning pre-race and that was a huge mistake. Other sunscreens, even if they say "water and sweat proof" are not Ironman proof. Ironman is a different level and Kona is a WHOLE different level. You've got to take it seriously because one wrong decision could seriously impact your whole day.

I strait up started freaking out on the run. Besides the dehydration and then my back was killing me from my time on the bike, I was just feeling awful. Sapped of energy and just like my body was falling apart. By the time I got sunscreen on in T2 it was way too late. Missing it completely in T1 was a terrible idea. Even the upper half of my back would have saved me. Instead, I just rushed out and completely forgot since Kinesis is usually my back up and has saved me on a number of occasions.

In hindsight things are always clearer. They are more "DUH" what were you thinking? But the thing is, we all make mistakes, but these are two I really should know better. Little things, amplified by this race.

So, let's hold each other accountable shall we! Feel free to leave a comment about your big race boo-boo and I'll remind you before your next race to make a different decision (if you have a blog or we are friends on FB etc.). PLEASE do the same for me.. this sunburn is going to peel for days, probably twice, so that should help me remember for awhile.

Thanks for all your kind comments on my last blog. Wow.. I know some of you so well and you are always supportive, always amazing and caring and I appreciate it so much. Thank you.. I mean that.. thank you.

Kona 2011

Where to begin! Let me first say that Kona is amazing. 100% strait up pure triathlon adrenaline rush amazing. If you ever have the chance to come here, not even for the Ironman, but just to come here, you should. The people are beyond wonderful, kind and willing to help, the town is beautiful, cute and has all the amenities of home, and the training is hot, has every kind of terrain you could want and the water is quite possibly the most beautiful in all the world (in my opinion). My experience this week has been filled with everything from people running around in their under ware, to speaking about coaching at the expo, to seeing my friends and of course, getting ready to race.

Pre-race here is always intense. It requires lots and lots of prep here. Much more than other races it seems. There's just a lot going on here PERIOD. People to see, blogger friends to meet (Marni, Libby!) and Pittsburgh had 8 athletes here so lots of group dinners etc. In addition, Ty and Ryan Ballou were here with us, so it made for a wonderful pre-race team dinner etc. Plus, my Ballou Skies girls and I had matching outfits for the under ware run which was way cool!

The race itself...well, it definitely wasn't the day I had planned or the day I was hoping for, that is for sure.

Note: This may (and I said MAY) be the shortest race report I have ever written.

The morning of the race went as planned, no issues. When I headed into the water I lined up far left due to my Ironman Lake Placid Panic attack and I wanted to be able to "get out" if things started to get dicey. When the cannon blew I found myself in a perfect position and I got out rather well swimming with a small group and moving right along. Everything was pretty great until at one point I looked over an entire group was swimming directly at me. YES, at me. NO idea how that happened. I guess whoever I was sighting off of wasn't doing that great of a job. Anyway, I promptly did an about face and tried to swim in the direction they were going! Finally we made it to the sailboat turn around and headed back toward home. The highlight was definitively seeing 10 dolphins right below us as the light broke through the water. I wanted to stay and look at them, and maybe I should have if I would have known what was in store for the rest of the day, but there was much work to be done. When I got out of the water I was very surprised to see 1:10 on the clock! Really!! I had been feeling like I was going much faster. I moved on, no sense in worrying about that now.

After forgetting sunscreen in T1 (remember that for later), I headed out on the bike optimistic and ready to race. The out and back through town is dicey and crazy. Men going way too fast for the narrow roads and just wall to wall people. I took it conservatively and tried to settle into my own pace / not crash. Finally, we were out on the queen K and I was feeling pretty good. I started my nutrition plan and was just steadily moving along. Sure, there were some packs, I just did my best not to get involved. Each time a marshal passed, I got a nod that everything I was doing was cool.

Cadence, check. Heart rate, check. Nutrition, check. I was moving right along. The wind picked up slightly about 30 miles in and then at 45 while we climbed up to Hawi... it hit. I was just floored by how progressively worst it got through the 50-60 mile section. At one point, I actually yelled out in frustration as I could barely keep the bike moving forward without pressure on the pedals. I got frustrated and out of sorts.. I stopped drinking and just held on for dear life. I figured it will all get better once I made the turn around, but by then, precious fluids and salt within those bottles had been missed. Bad conditions, bad decisions. I had a little under half a bottle left at the turn around which should have been gone by mile 60. When I replaced them I thought "I can turn this around, everything will be fine!" Then my bike got wings. Flying down at 34 miles per hour I didn't dare take my hands off the bars. Precious time I'm gaining I kept thinking, precious time! Now I was in the 68 mile range, still far from drinking on schedule. In trying to catch up, I finally got it down and switched, more than half and hour from schedule. Around 80 miles the head wind kicked in and I started to feel my glutes and hamstrings tightening, my power was going down with each stroke and I had a hard time sticking to my prescribed cadence. Things were going south and they were on the express train.

My second to last bottle was warm and each time I drank it, I started to gag. It was the last thing on earth I wanted to do was drink it, but I kept trying. Instead I focused on water, leaving me missing precious electrolytes.

As the wind and sun beat me down, I felt my back just cooking under the UV rays. I could see my skin turning deeper and deeper shades of red. At some point I started wondering if I had enough focus to make it back to Kona without crashing or falling off the bike. "Just get back," I kept saying to myself quietly. Thoughts of certain times and places were slowly falling away. At that point, I couldn't even mentally entertain the marathon... "Just get back Kim, you can do it, make it back!"

Finally, I pulled into town and made my way to transition. I was so happy to be in there I thought about staying. The volunteers rushed me out though and what the heck, I might as well try to run a marathon. I was so out of it I forgot my baggie with my own flavors of gels and extra salt right in the T2 bag. Nice Kim, nice.

Out on the run I started to feel a little better. I was clicking along at 7:30 pace. Humm.. maybe my body was fine! Maybe it was just "a bad patch" as we all have in ironman! Around mile 6 I started to notice my skin had little divots in it and they formed these strange lines..I got worried. Really worried. It was either dehydration or sun poisoning, or both. By the time I hit Palani hill around a little short of mile ten, I was in trouble. Kyle and his Mom were standing there on the edge of the road and I stopped. Our conversation went like this:

Kyle: Are you ok?

Kim: No, I'm not sure if something is really wrong or if I should keep going or what.. my skin looks weird, my glutes and hamstrings are really, really tight and I just don't feel well. Do you think I will hurt myself if I keep going??

Kyle: Well, it's the world championships, I don't think you should quit, but only you can make that call.

Kim: Ok.. well, I'm going to keep going if I can, might be a long day though just so you know.

So, I chipped away at the hill and temperature on the Queen K rose to 120+ degrees. I could feel the heat through my shoes. My muscles got progressively worst until I could no longer use them. My glutes were like rocks. I stopped to stretch and couldn't even bend over. It was a disaster. I was at mile 13. The thought of walking the rest of the marathon was inconceivable, so was the thought of running it. Every step meant pain, walking or running. After walking for about 5 minutes I determined that the faster I got back, the faster I could seek medical help, so away I shuffled.

The next miles were long and drawn out. One mile seemed to take forever. I saw friends, they encouraged me and the only thing I could think about was all the people checking for updates. There was only so much I could do, and this was it...Kyle and Deb were out there on the course and they knew by my gait things were bad, very bad. Kyle told me he loved me and to keep going, so I did. Slowly but surely, I swallowed my pride, got passed by everyone and their brother and just. kept. going.

Night started to fall and the temperature dropped. Running down Palani at mile 25 I heard Cathy and Teresa yell for me and I couldn't hold it in one more second. Tears started streaming down my face behind my glasses.

When I finally turned the corner, people were cheering for me by name and I gave a thumbs up. They didn't know anything about my day, but they knew I was finishing.. and that was my only goal from about mile 80 on. I had made it to 140.6 on sheer will, everyone's thoughts and prayers and nothing else. My body had long tapped out. It was just me and my thoughts that kept each painful step moving.

During my last three Ironmans I've felt nothing but total joy and elation. This shoot was completely different for me. It was a combination of thankfulness, disappointment, awe of my mental fortitude and just a dizzy blur of pushing my body to make it those last miles. The second Mike Reiley shouted "You are an Ironman" I made the Ballou Skies heart, pointed to the sky to say thanks for the blessings of the day and burst in sobs. My body gave out. That was it, not another step to be taken.

The amazing volunteers grabbed me and rushed me into the tent. I couldn't move my legs to even take a step. My glutes and hamstrings had locked into complete spasms. Dizzy, crying and confused I tried to explain that I hadn't peed during the day. I tried once, but nothing but a trickle. When they weighed me, I'd lost around 7 lbs. For a 120 lb girl, that's a lot.

Doctors are angels and nurses are right there with them. After assessing my blood pressure and seeing my skin pucker when they pinched it they knew I needed fluids so very badly. Two bags of IV fluid later and I finally stopped shaking.

It was a long, hot day.. and a day I will not soon forget. Why? Well, that's easy.. because I think I might be more proud and thankful for yesterday than any other Ironman yet. It's easy to keep going when things are going our way, but what about the other times.. the times when you know people will see your results and instead of saying "wow, she / he had a PR or placed this or that" they say "Geezz, she placed 56, that's not her best time or place or I hope she's ok!?" There's no other reason to keep going except for out of respect for your competitors who tried to make it to this place and you got the spot, for boys like Ryan Ballou who were so excited to see you on the race course, and for your own reasons in your heart that have nothing to do with anyone or anything else, the reasons why you started this sport and why you love it still.

I finished yesterday. I am an Ironman once again. I'm so very thankful that I took a journey on this amazing island for 140.6 miles. It wasn't the journey I'd expected, but I learned a whole lot more about myself on such a tough day that I didn't know before it started.

Thank you to my family for being here with me - Kyle, Deb, and Randy. Thank you to everyone who follow me, took a moment to write a message on my FB wall, sent me an email, mailed a card or just gave me a word of encouragement on the race course. You are my hero's and no matter the day I have out there, it is good to know you are there for me. I'm so blessed.

Thanks to my Ballou Skies teammates, sponsors like Top Gear and Powerbar, and everyone else who touches my life in a positive way.

Three more days on the Island and I plan to enjoy every last one!!