Ready or Not!

It's time to race with Lance. Well, maybe not "with" Lance.. but nothing like walking into your first pro meeting already wanting to either puke or pee your pants and there sits one of the greatest endurance athletes of all time.. No biggie.. It's just Lance Armstrong, 7 time Tour de France winner.

I've thought a couple times about pulling the "I'm a new pro and this is my first race, can I get a picture with you card" and you know what.. if the timing is right, I think I'm going for it. Worst that can happen, he says no right!?!

Needless to say, I'm extremely nervous about this weekend. I'd like to pretend like I'm not, but I'd be lying. I go through periods of being really calm and collected to like all out scared. Of what I ask myself.. Really?! There's 100% NOTHING to be afraid of here. I'm not the defending champion, in fact, I'm so far down on the women's list of starters that I'm lucky I still made it on there ;)

Doesn't change the fact that I get all wigged out too sometimes. No ones expecting me to go and win the race (or even place for that matter) so there certainly isn't any pressure, that's not the pressure that usually matters anyway. It's the pressure from you know who... you know.. that little voice inside your head that tells you that you're not good enough, that you don't belong, that you're in over your head, that you haven't trained enough, that you're just not going to do well.. how could you possibly considering these girls have been at it for years and you've had a good solid one month of training this year thus far! You know those voices too don't you?!

Then I realize how many people are behind me.. how hard I've worked to get to this point, the countless hours it's taken, the six years of triathlon that started in 2006, the times I dreamed of stepping up to this starting line and the fact that I earned my right to be here by winning two amateur Ironmans DANG IT!! That was me I tell them.. !! I stare those voices down and my belief in a greater plan and the fact that I am right where I am supposed to be beats them down with one big fat ugly stick.

I'm sure they'll rear their ugly head again before Sunday, but that's ok.. I've got my stick of faith, love and hope that is shined up and ready to swing. Courage is part of this game folks. Every time we step up to the line, we've already overcome a great battle of hardships in workouts, mental games and injuries. If we give ourselves the chance, the real chance to go out there and be free of bonds that worry us and the "what if's" that hold us down... well, we might just see something that we've never seen in ourselves before.

I'm ready to go into the hurt box this weekend. Whatever comes out on the other side, well, at least I'll know something. It's time to know something. I can't keep training without, at the very least, knowing how far I have yet to go. If that doesn't motivate me to really step it up, well.. then I don't know what will.

The start line will of course include champions galore, but that doesn't matter much to me. All that really matters to me is that I put it out there, learn about this and come out smiling and thankful on the other side. If I do that, even if it looks like I've lost, I've won...and maybe someday I'll come back with a podium place to show it.

I have an amazing husband who supports me 110%, great family and friends, super friends through the blog world that leave me messages that make me feel like I can do anything.. who can stop me right!?

In the mean time, I'll be sporting one bad ass kit designed by the one, the only...Betty Designs. Kristin is a class act who has built and amazing business from the ground up and has inspired me with her tenacity and passion for what she does. She's taking triathlon gear to the next level and if I could afford all of it, I would buy every last thing she has! So, check her out if you have time.

Look for me in blue, for Ballou Skies! DON"T FORGET THE CONTEST from the last blog where you can win a free nutrition counseling session just by donating!

Thank you to my other sponsors that are helping me along in this rookie season - Top Gear Bicycle Shop, Powerbar, Blueseventy, and Newton.

I HEART my new kit so even if I'm bringing up the rear, I'm going to be doing it in style!

Here's to making dreams come true! Let's do this thing!!! Thanks to all of you who have been part of this journey. Ready or not.. let's let it rip shall we :)

Ballou Skies Contest - Win a FREE Nutrition Consultation

Many of you know what Ballou Skies has meant to me over the past few years. It's more than a team, it's more than some logo you put on your uniform, it's a family of people doing good and never giving up that there IS hope and a cure in the works for Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and that WE ARE A PART OF THAT CURE.

Meeting Ryan changed me life.. hands down. His belief that this was more than a dream, but a reality had me immediately hooked on this idea of research for a cure and can I tell you, it is happening. Right now, as we speak.

At times, Ty receives letters like this, from families just like his was 17 years ago who are searching for an answer, a glimmer of hope in the light of this diagnosis:

Briefly, Darren M. contacted me on Wed. of this week. I have never met or spoken to Darren previously. He found the BallouSkies site over the internet and reviewed the Tri team and research teams efforts. We had a great conversation. Darren and his wife have two son (Jakob and Isaak) now 13 and 12. Eight years ago, on the same day, both boys were diagnosed with DMD. Let that settle in for a moment. They had no indication of anything wrong of either son other than they were somewhat slow to physically develop.

Darren and his doctors live in a very tiny town in the Saskatchewan province of Canada and have been in touch this week with Dr. Raman at OSU. It appears that both young men with start taking the blend of heart medicines very shortly. Darren spoke often about Ryan being 24 and functioning at such a high level. I told him there is no reason that Jakob and Isaak cannot do the same. BallouSkies T-shirts and wrist bands are on there way north of the border.

Train hard this weekend………count your blessing and know somewhere over the net people each week at finding about doctors and a Tri team that are making a real difference.

I have exactly 10 days until my first professional race. Many of you will wish me luck and I appreciate that. I'm scared, but not even remotely as scared as these families facing much bigger issues than I will ever even understand. That's why I'm running a contest that will benefit Ballou Skies and help with the research we need to find a cure!

For the next ten days, for everyone who DONATES and puts my name within the paypal donation (there's a place in there somewhere!), I will put their name in a chance to win a free nutritional assessment which is worth a $200 value.

A $10 donation = 1 entry

A $20 donation = 2 entries

A $30 donation= 3 entries

" and so on "

My goal is to raise a $1000 in the next ten days. That's right.. I'm optimistic :) The contest begins tonight at 9:00pm (Wed March 21st) and the contest ends at Sat March 31st at 9:00pm.

The more you give, the more chances you have to win. This nutritional assessment will be catered completely to you! Whether your goal is to loose weight, improve your training and racing nutrition or just make sure you are on the right track - this will improve your life and your training!

Make sure my name is attached to the donation somehow and you can also email me to let me know you did it at kim@fuelyourpassion.net!

Thank you in advance for all of the amazingly selfless donations we are going to receive to help boys like Ryan! I can't wait to work with one of you!! Get em in!!

Here we go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Best Part So Far

My longest day yet this year! I had a good friend in mind when I was cruising along and her courage inspired me to work harder and not give up despite the three rain storms and multiple hours of road dirt I had to eat!




Thursday Night Ride - Aka, the "fast" ride! I was scared, but I hung in there and was so glad I did!




Little self photo op at the Thursday night ride




The Friday group! Jack, his girlfriend, Ten, Me!, Howard and Curtis!

Today we finished off the group ride and then Curtis and I headed to Matanza Inlet near St. Augustine. Great ride and had some beautiful views! Lots of fisherman!

Fellow Triathlon Bloggers and super cool chicks, Chloe & Libby met me for a great dinner and lots of fun tri / life discussions! Had a blast ladies!

I've been trying to figure out how to sum up my last weeks here training in Florida. It's a difficult thing to do because so many parts Have influenced me and really allowed me to take a step back and realize just how lucky I am to have this opportunity. I don't take it lightly, at all.

I suppose the biggest thing that has struck me is how fun it's been to see my Mom and spend time with her, meet new people and really get chance to see what I was made of with some very experienced and talented cyclists.

I never dreamed I'd spend four Friday rides down here with 30+ people and really get to improve my handling skills / get some great "pulling" in on the front of a group like that! I also never thought I would meet and become so attached to the great group of people in town through "The Bike Shop" and I'm really going to miss them!

These are a few pictures from my time with some really cool people! I've enjoyed it so very much and I'm forever grateful for their hospitality and including me in their rides etc. The masters swim group has been awesome too and I'll definitely be coming down next year to see them again I hope!

I am leaving this training block with some amazing memories, definitely some new friends and a few glimpses of what I'm capable of on the bike. When push came to shove, I was seeing some miles per hour that I've never seen on flats before. I think it was due to my "group" relying on me to pull them and I was so much stronger than I ever could have been alone. When you don't want to let people down it's a game changer isn't it?? I'm sure you know exactly what I mean!

All in all, I really couldn't have asked for anything more. I learned a lot about myself and a lot about these exceptional people. It's time though folks.. this chick is ready for her own bed, her husband, her house, and her friends!

Tomorrow I head out for a 13 hr jaunt Northbound!

Many of the FYP athletes are racing tomorrow so it should be an exciting day! Can't wait to get those phone calls on the results!

Hope everyone else is having great training, but even more so, enjoying life. I just keep singing that song in my head this week "Oh this has got to be a good life, a good good life!"

Thanks for everything Jack & Curtis! You guys really made my trip! Proud to be an honorary member of the bike shop and hope to see you next year! Thanks for reading!

Success

We had an amazing party at my aunts this past weekend that included Oysters steamed on an outdoor fire, homemade wine (maybe a little too much!) and plenty of fellowship! So much fun!

How does one define success?

Google said something like:

1. The accomplishment of an aim or purpose.
2. The attainment of popularity or profit.

Humm.. very interesting definitions, especially the second one. I thought about this question all morning during my swim, after in the sauna and then during my lift (well, maybe not so much during my lift since I was killing myself to get five reps of back squat).

I find the second point on success very interesting because it's just so, well, shallow. It's very society oriented.

It's fairly obvious that success means so many things to different people. You can see it as a function of everything from happiness to dollar signs.

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.
David Brinkley

The older I get, the more I think about this concept of success. When I was younger I always thought it had to do with either making more money or having more status. It seemed that my parents or others would always talk about someone who was "successful" as having a high paying career where they could travel, take care of their family well, send their kids to the best schools or that others looked up to / had power or influence. For some reason, I never really thought much about those things myself growing up. Would I have enough money to live - of course I would!?! Why wouldn't I?

Belief in oneself is one of the most important bricks in building any successful venture.
Lydia M. Child

As I've seen those around me who the world may label as "successful" defined in the terms above crumble under either the pressure of a high-powered career or a failed marriage due to never spending time together I started to understand that the world's definition of success was diverging very rapidly from what I believed. I realized that term could almost be deemed meaningless if the things that matter most to you no longer existed.

Failure is success if we learn from it.
Malcolm Forbes

These days I'm questioning success on a whole new level. If success is defined by making more money than you were before, well.. that's out the window for me! I'm certainly not! In fact, for the first time in my life Kyle and I are committed to a budget wholeheartedly and sometimes it doesn't include the things I used to indulge in. We are both making sacrifices so that I can travel to races and earn a little less. It's not easy by any stretch, but I think it's well worth it. If success is defined by waking up every day excited about what you're doing, feeling like God has blessed you in inconsiderable ways, or being happy you're alive.. well, then those things I'm kicking butt at successfully!

I've also given a lot of thought to this first season in terms of success. Prior, success had something to do with getting to Kona for a chance to compete against the best in world (which in October, I if you look at just results - I failed miserably!, so take that success! lol!). These days, I'm looking at redefining success again in triathlon on a very personal level. Would I like to do really well? Podium? Go to Kona eventually? SURE! Do I really think those are all realistic goals for this year.. well, maybe.. ok.. I mean, we'll certainly see, but in actuality it's going to more than likely be a really hard adjustment to this style of racing, the amount of training it's going to take to get there and the level of experience it takes to actually place at an event as a professional. Kelly Williamson has had an amazing season.. you know how many seasons she's been doing this.. TEN. Yep, ten years at the professional level. She's incredibly talented, but her talent and experience have come together in such a way that she is just kicking tail and man is it exciting to see.. but you can't forget the years before this one where I'm sure she asked herself all the same questions that I am right now.

Do I think it's impossible to do well this season.. heck no! Am I doing my best to prepare to come out of the gate swinging - absofreakinlutely.

I'm also smart enough to know that the best definitions for success will be that I'm healthy all year, that I learn how to race as a professional, that I take my recovery seriously by stretching and doing the little things I never used to do, that I improve on my personal bests, that I become a 9 hr Ironwomen (darn I want that one bad!), that I still balance my family life and am thankful for the opportunity and that I still love racing, training and am committed to becoming the best a coach/dietitian I possibly can.

Quite different than before huh?

I thought so. It was tough to lay those things out there.. to know that it won't necessarily be podiums that "define" success for me but rather things that might eventually lead to podiums. If I do those things right, the podiums will come. If I put my heart and soul into those things.. then God will work out the rest if he deems it so.

We all have different definitions of success. They don't have to be the same and they don't have to be about results. In fact, the results are fun and the goals are necessary to have realistic measures of our progress but they don't have to define our "success" in the sport. How happy are you when you a running on a clear day with your friends chatting it up? How does your heart feel when you climb a hill and look over a glowing field at sunset from your bike? How high is your spirit when you cross that finish line - arms raised to the sky feeling like you could take on the world, so thankful for your health and this chance to put it all on the line?

Sometimes success is the hours and hours, days and months of training that just happened to result in a better blood lipid profile or healthier BMI ;) or just getting the to starting line, healthy and with your family in tow to watch your day unfold. Sometimes that's the best success of all.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns

I don't know about you.. but the world's definition of success is a pretty long way away from my own these days and I think it's a sign I'm doing things right. I think it's a sign that I've stopped thinking about clothes, hair and makeup and that I spend more time being thankful for my health, my family and my husband. I think it's a sign that I wake up happy and excited every morning about what the day holds. That's my success and it has NOTHING to do with what I have in the bank, on my back, or what people think about me or my life.

I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it.
Jonathan Winters

If nothing else, maybe this will encourage you to define success on your own.. make it yours... feel little pieces of it and continue to seek it out...

I hope so.. because you deserve that... we all do.

I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.
Michael Jordan

Denver.. The Sunshine State.. gorgeous

Who else loves the movie "Old School"? My title is one of the lines from the movie that Kyle and I always quote. I'm not in Colorado obviously. I'm in the "REAL" sunshine state! Let me say, since I've been here the Florida sunshine has not disappointed!

Staying with my Mom has been a lot of fun and we honestly haven't spent this much time together in at least ten years. I'm finishing up my second full week here and last week will be my last.

Since I've been here there has been lots of training in a beautiful outdoor pool both swimming with masters and on my own, riding with a great group of guys from "The Bike Shop", and running with trees and flowers in full bloom.

For the first weekend I was here one of my FYP athletes was with me and we did some great swim analysis, rode and ran together a bit. We had a nice time and identified some needed areas for him to work on with drills etc. in his stoke. That was my first encounter with the big group that rides on Friday's on what they call "the loop" here.

I was told they start from the bike shop at 7:45am so I showed up at 7:30 ready to go. Only about four of us showed up so I thought "Oh nice, little group, not too big but people who know where they are going! Awesome!" That's one of the things that always worries me when going to a new place and not knowing where the safest places to ride are etc. Little did I know we were about to meet up with a much larger group of about 30 other cyclists! I was amazed at how many people were out on a Friday morning from 8:00-10:30am.

On our ride over we were averaging 20-22mph and it's flat so that was fine. We each pulled a bit and in general I wasn't too worried about the pace. Once we met up with the group though the dynamics changed a bit and I was starting to realize there was quite a bit of testosterone present and definitely a way they normally do things (go hard at certain times etc.). I won't go into details, but let's just say I haven't been in a "paceline" for many years and I made a few faux pas! I managed to make a few of the guys mad! Whoops!

About four of us got dropped from the group and then my athlete flatted (I was beginning to wonder if I was cursed at that point!). We lost the group anyway so being the amazingly nice owner of the shop and a few others circled back to get us when they realized we were gone and had no earthly idea where we were! Man was I happy to see them!

Last week when I came out though on Friday morning I was ready. Game face on - check.. ready to play.. check. Once we met the group and things started moving quickly I realized I was the only women. Awesome. Whatever.. doesn't matter.. This time I wasn't getting dropped.

When the pace started picking up... 21 mph, 22 mph I was on that wheel in front of me and back to my days at the crit races of the Washington Oval on Tuesday nights! I wasn't even able to drink for stretches with 20 riders behind me and 8 in front. Finally it was my turn to pull this group of at least 25 riders. I knew I'd have to maintain a pretty good speed to make sure they were ok behind me. My legs weren't feeling great from the week, but I decided this was a good of a chance as any to really get some good practice at going hard and seeing where things were!

I picked it up, gritted my teeth, 24mph, 25, 26mph.. rolling along. It hurt.. I wish my heart rate monitor had been functioning right because I swear I might have seen a 170 on there :) At about 3-4 minutes I pulled off.. that was enough for now. I pulled twice more before the "extreme hold on for dear life" part of the ride was over.

The week before I met one of the riders that rides for the shop and races a few rides - Curtis. He knew every area, which were safe and better to ride and lucky for little old me, was willing to hang for another couple hours after the group ride was over. Needless to say, I was DANG happy that first few hours were in the bank and now it was just two of us, no pressure and new places to explore! The weather was perfect, 75 and sunny and I was loving life!

We headed toward Ponce Inlet and snaked out way out to the pier where we watched a group of surfers catch a few sets. It was just beautiful and I was just so happy to be alive and seeing the sights with the sun on my face. It's ok that I right now I'm a professional triathlete that essentially trains a lot and makes zippo. My heart is in the right place, loving the journey so far and being thankful for this chance.

I thought about where I would be otherwise on that Friday at 11:45am.. sitting in my office, wondering what the future would hold. No more wondering.. the future is here.

The Gator from the first ride once we lost the group! Glad we were high above this guy!

Curtis, my cycling lieason! We're heading out again tomorrow on the group ride and then after. I'm wondering if I can talk him into three extra hours and a transition run.. highly doubtful, but even two will help!

Ponce Inlet! They have Florida's tallest lighthouse

Of course I had to make Curtis be my photographer! That's what you get for riding with me. I think he was a little confused when I was talking about "my blog" I'm pretty sure many people still think they are for nerds but I beg to differ. Blogging is cool..

They have some very cool wooden trails built here in the woods. Exploring new places on runs has been a lot of fun down here.

My Mother's pool is really kicking butt as my Pseduo ice bath. It's not quite cold enough (about 62) but super convenient! No to worry, I've done my toenails since this was taken.. and my Mom's too.. whew.. those were ugly. They hadn't seen the world for months in PA!

Hope everyone is having a kick butt week! Thanks for the comments on the last blog! Christi - you better watch it.. I just might homestay your hiney! Colorado is a great state! Love it!

Three weeks to race time! I can't believe it.. I'm shaking in my booties a little, but mostly I'm excited. Can't wait to see where I am and just having a starting place. After that, there's no where to go but up right!

Beth's Mom is a Saint (as is my Mom, I love Mom's)

She really is.. Well, maybe not an actual Saint like the ones in the Bible or the old days, but pretty dang close. As many of you know when I first left "The Burgh" I made the trip down to Hilton Head to stay and do some training with Beth. It was so nice that Beth and her family down South opened their home to me and allow me to throw my stinky clothes in their laundry, eat them out of everything in their fridge and basically ride my sweaty self on the trainer in their living room.

When Beth and I concocted this plan about four months ago I had NO idea if it would actually work. I mean, I was still working full time and could barely see the light at the end of the tunnel most weeks, let alone think about months down the road. I'm so glad she got me excited about it and was happy to have someone to train with as well.

Beth and I go back.. wayyyy back. Back to our cross-country days at Penn State. We've been friends, and competed together both as teammates on PSU, MarkAllen Online and now Ballou Skies. It's very special to be making our Pro debut in the same year and going through some of those crazy questions and situations with sponsorship, uniforms etc. together.

Anyway, back to Beth's Mom and why she's a saint. So while I was there I basically followed Beth's schedule for the five days and that involved LOTS of biking, some running and a little swimming. Did I mention the biking.. oh the biking.. the many many hours pushing those pedals!




Over five days I had around 330 miles in by our calculations and trust me when I say, just like Branden from MADE, my hiney was in PAIN (feelin ya Dog, feelin ya).

It was pretty much eat, sleep, get clothes ready, train, eat, train again (you get the drift). Somewhere along the way we realized that the roads of South Carolina were not the nice to our bike tires and first it was Beth's turn to Flat on a 4 hour jaunt (about 3:15 in so we got rather far!). Our CO2 would just not cooperate so we were left with only one option, call Beth's Mom to come to our rescue! Like the Saint she is, she dropped everything and came after us!

The next and final day was our 5 hour ride and I had two tubes, 2 CO2's and high hopes that we would be fine. I mean come on.. Beth had already had enough bad luck for both of us right??! WRONG... one hour in and I already flatted and the CO2 adapter struck out. We were close enough to home that I rode the flat back about 4 miles changed it, and pumped it at the house. Tag team - back out on the road again!

We treaded lightly and didn't speak much during those first 45 minutes. A couple of times I thought I felt something.. "whew" false alarm I thought! At 47 minutes in it sounded like a gun went off. I said few choice words and we pulled over.

We both looked as deflated as the tire. We'd already spent 40 mins on the last flat and here we were again. I almost gave up and told Beth to go on, but we decided to call on Nadine (Beth's Mom) once again. "Hey Mom" Beth said, "can you drive out here and bring us a pump when you come??" I felt so bad, there we were AGAIN asking her to come to our rescue. She didn't hesitate! Now we were about 1.5 hours behind schedule, but after it was changed we were off again and thanked her Mother profusely! Between us we only had one tube left, and one CO2 but we were going to get this done if it killed us!

That 5 hour ride turned into a 7 hour+ day by the time it was said and done. I determined a few things..

1. Beth's Mom is a Saint (and her Dad is very nice too, but he was on a work trip much of the time so it was more her Mom who cooked amazing meals, did laundry and helped us in our time of need)

2. Snickers bars and Diet Coke at some gas station (where some guy is dressed up the like the statue of liberty and trying to talk to Beth) just might save your life and allow you to get home

3. You can get two flats per person in two days (even though that is against most odds)

4. I have improved my tube changing skills ten fold

5. You can fit two girls in an ice bath at the same time (one with bad hair - that would be me)

6. I am so very lucky to have friends like Beth who I can share the ups and downs, laugh with and sometime cry with and who help me to become a better athlete than I was before.

It was a great trip and I would have never thought I could train that much or that hard and still make it through. I also realized that although I had really glamorized in my mind this life of "training all the time" this @#$# is hard.. like really hard. Your legs are aching, your back hurts, and the LAST thing you want to do is get back on that saddle the next day. You know what you do.. you do it anyway. You do it because you have a friend who's counting on you, you do it because you have a husband who was willing to sacrifice and hold down the fort by himself for a month to allow you to have this time to train and you do it because it's what you always wanted and you're not about to waste this chance to get stronger and faster and see where it takes you.

If those aren't good enough reasons, well, then I don't have any. It is hard, and it's only going to get harder... but I'll take it.. all of it. It will be worth it when I finish my first professional year (that I feel like started about three weeks ago) and say I really put in some time to see how it went. That's a chance I'll take over and over again.

A HUGE thanks to Beth for encouraging me to raise my game and for never giving up on us finishing that ride! A MILLION thanks to her Mom, Nadine, who without, we would have never been able to train like that due to the home cooked meals and SAG service! You rock Nadine!

Now I'm down in Florida mooching off of of my Mom for three weeks while I train in 70 degrees and sunny! It's been great so far and I've been doing a little work too.. really!

See! Thank the Lord for Mothers!