I love three day weekends

Seriously, shouldn't we just have those all the time. I mean who made this rule about having to work a five day week anyway? Yes, Yes, I know the Chinese work six or seven day weeks, but we NEED more time, we have created way more for ourselves to do right!? I'm a triathlete for heaven sake! If for nothing else that my training is like a part time job (just ask my family, they'll tell you!).

Enough ranting about that. I had a great weekend and I was thankful for getting the chance to get things done and have a little R & R time as well.

I got ALL of my training in.

Let me just say that again, I got ALL of my training in!!

Wow, it felt so good. On Friday night I kicked off the weekend with an ladies night with two of my very good friends, Tammy & Sharon.

We had drinks and unfortunately, I ate nachos for dinner. To my defence, they were pot luck nachos so they had marinaded beef and other random goodies on them. I know it sounds gross but they were amazing! I planned on eating again later, but then packed my bike stuff instead.

Morning came early at 6:30 and it was off to ride my bike with a bunch of men! I'll admit it was my first ride of the season and riding with all men can be intimidating but everything actually worked out wonderfully. Only one of the guys was an uber biker and out of my league so he had to wait for ALL of us (not just me!). We rode for 3.5 hours and I was already running late with the stops etc. for the wedding. I was supposed to leave at noon but ended up leaving at about 12:20 with only enough time to drive the three and a half hours to State College for a 4pm wedding! Talk about cutting it close.

The bride was beautiful and had great weather and a perfect day. Even though it was a bit hard for me, I still love weddings.

The next day my long run was on tap after getting my zzzzzzz's! It was fairly hot by 10:30am when I hit the park but I ran into lots of friends to talk with and keep me busy. My pace was right on point and my heart rate was a bit high because of the heat so I had to back things down a bit. After two hours I was a sweaty but happy mess. Mission accomplished.

The rest of the weekend I spent dining with friends, purchasing outdoor carpet (and laying it myself I might add - talk about scary), and grocery shopping. I made pasta salad AND a casserole!

On Monday I swam with our group again and lifted and I have to admit I am wicked sore. Not sure what that is about. It could be because I took a few sessions off there for tapering etc. I need Keith, my masseuse, bad! Where are you Keith?!

Two things I did not do that I missed were attending church (I'm on that like a bad habit next weekend) and going to a Memorial Service of some sort. I think it's only right that I take time to honor those who have died so we can have this life of freedom, and my Mom commented that I should do that as well so I think I'm going to try next year.

My friend Jim completed his Marathon this past weekend! Go JIM!! I'm amazed at your courage to take on the challenge again and again. If I am HALF as fit as you when I get up there a bit, I will be a very happy lady!

Hope everyone had a great weekend as well!

Yes Mom, I'm eating...

I know this whole thing has made my Mother extremely nervous. It's been hard on her just like it's been hard on me, and I feel bad, but I know it's just because she's my Mom and she loves me.

She worries about me eating right, and if I'm sleeping enough, if I'm locking my door at night, and if I'm training too much.

Well, just to calm her fears I took a picture of dinner last night. Granted, the main portions were not made (well, they were made, just not by me!), but all food groups were represented and that, I felt good about.

I had stuffed Salmon (did you know they sell this stuff at Costco - it was $12.00 for THREE stuffed salmon filet's, farm raised, but hey, you can't have it all for $12.00), pasta, and salad. It was quite the meal. I put the capers on myself. I love those sour little things with salmon.

With some red wine for my healthy dose of antioxidants, I was all set.

I have a chandelier, yes, I am upscale now..(ha) and it hangs right above me while I dine so I can light my fake candles at the table! For someone who is a natural fire hazard, fake candles are must. You just turn them on, and drop them in!

In the world of training, I'm getting into a routine and that feels good. I haven't had my first "real" week back because I had some recovery time after the race (which was good seeing as I was having a couch delivered and cable installed). I swam this morning with Masters and I moved up a lane which almost killed me but that has to be good for me right. We were leaving on the 1:25 for 100yrds (with a descend) which was new for me. I made it, barely. They were so encouraging in my lane (all women!) and it felt great to be in that type of environment. I've spent what seems like thousands of dollars at Wal-mart and Costco getting little things that I needed.

Tonight, drinks with the girls after work and then home to get my bike ready for tomorrows long ride. Then it's off to a wedding where a very dear friends is getting married. I'm so excited for you D! Can't wait to see you in your pretty dress and with all your family and friends around you. I've never been to a wedding alone, tomorrow will be my first.

Other than that, I have a few options in Pitt to attend later in the weekend. I hope to see some friends, get a little sun and ride my bike! Can't wait.

Have a safe and happy Memorial Day weekend and let us remember all those who have touched our lives in the past.

Changes

As some of you might have guessed from previous posts, I've been having a rather rough go of it over the last few months. When it rains, it pours and that is most likely the understatement of the century here.

As a result, the much abbreviated version is that I knew it was necessary for me to get back to some things that made sense and that I knew would help my very depressed and down and out state of mind.

I missed my friends and training partners from the gym terribly. Working at home is probably fine for some people, and may even be fine for me someday, but at this point in my life, it just wasn't working. I wasn't as productive, and I grew progressively lonelier and lonelier until I seemed to loose touch with myself and the world. Instead of seeking help, and looking to those close to me, I did all the wrong things and it has been so hard on Kyle and I that I'm praying we can recover, but there are no guarantees, not in marriage, and not in life.

With that said, I came back to the place that I last felt like myself a bit, and where I had a support system to train again. I moved back to Pittsburgh.

I've rented a small house and am working on fixing it up and making it feel a bit less empty. In the mean time, I spent my first day back at the gym yesterday and received such a warm welcome, almost as if I was a family member finally coming back from a long trip.

Words can never express how lucky I am to have family, friends, and acquaintances in my life, both in my hometown, and here in Pitt., that love me and offer a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on.

Thank you for the thoughts and prayers. I'm still getting used to things, being back in the office is good for me for now, and although everything feels weird and new, it's also familiar and I'm trying to look at the positives and pray for the best.

I'm looking forward to developing a routine again (which we all know most triathletes do VERY well with) and getting some outside help to sort through some of the emotional issues.

It will be a long road, but one that at the end, I'm sure I will be glad I have taken because if you don't work on yourself, how can you be the best you can be to help others. I keep telling myself that somehow, someday, this too shall pass and I will be able to share with people on a personal level about what I've been through and how I made it to the other side. That thought gives me comfort and allows me to get up every morning thanking God for yet another chance to live and become a bit more who he wants me to be.

Thinking of everyone out there who either has been through hard times, or has yet to, it's always one or the other!

It Must Have Been The Toenails

I think they had to be the reason I just didn't poop out and give up when I seemed to not have a head attached to my body for most of the weekend.

Kyle and I drove down on Saturday morning and I was pretty sure I would be missing quite a few items as I packed my bag while a bit tipsy on Friday night (too long waiting for food, too much of my favorite red!). We left a 9:30am and by 1:30 we were hitting the race packet pickup and I was standing in line behind Terranzo. At first I was like, "who's this guy wearing these tight pants all pulled down and a wrist warmer, when he turned around he looked at me like "who's this girl standing in this line for elites and I have no idea who she is." Glances were passed, and he was out of there. I couldn't help it my number was 82 (which is my lowest number, EVER).

It was nice to rack my bike up front, that was a first, and I thought, WOW, it will be so easy to find...(more on this later). After a wonderful dinner at Noodles (man, I sure wish they had one closer!), we headed in the for the night and packed the bags for the next day.

The conversation about the torrential rain that was supposed to ensue happened like this:

Kyle - "What time do you want to leave tomorrow?"

Kim - "I don't know, probably pretty early, are we taking the car or the shuttle?"

Kyle - "well, what time does transition open?"

Kim - "Um...not too sure, did they put a schedule in my bag or something, I guess I forgot to print out the race packet, ooops! sorry?"

Kyle - "What about how we get back if we do take the shuttle, we have your bike, and when are the awards?

Kim - "once again, not too sure and we don't have to worry about the awards, I won't be getting one of those, remember, I'm a bad little triathlete"

So, basically, questions upon questions and no good answers were the order of the day. This trend continued as I brought the wrong Mark Allen drink for my bottle on the bike, thought I understood which way I would be biking out, but didn't etc. etc. etc.

You know all those rookie mistakes, well, I got all those out in one race.

The good parts were: being so close to the pros and watching them start the race, getting to start in my first elite wave with the men which was interesting, not giving up after I saw my swim split which was so slow I felt like it, not giving up after I followed a girl into far into the 1500 rack before having to turn around in transition to run back to the 64-96 rack (which still doesn't make sense to me, all of us should have been going to the same place dang it!!), having a decent bike ride, not getting passed - once, running off the bike like I hadn't really biked (not sure how that happened but I would like to keep that feeling going!), running with Courtney Brown (I think she's a first year pro and SO amazingly nice & encouraging) beside me the whole time and us using each other to make it up the hills, seeing friends and watching Beth & Lindsay do so well at the race (1st for Beth & 3rd for Lindsay - go Mark Allen Online Team!).

All in all, it was a good race and very well organized and fun. I just wish I would have had my head in the game a bit more before the race so I could have really done a better job. I've made a commitment to myself, my Mark Allen team and my sponsors to really have my act together for Buffalo Springs - NO ROOKIE MISTAKES (if possible!). I WILL print out the race packet! I WILL know what time the awards are so I don't miss them (yes, it continued to even after the race - they did the open women & men first, before the pros, and I did not know the location or exact time = big fat bummer).

I appreciate all the good lucks and the support of Kyle, my family, friends, all the other great athletes and spectators cheering for me out there (which was nice as the rain pelted us on that bike!), Mark Allen Coaching and of course my sponsors, Washington Reprographics, Super Donut, Powerbar, Serenity Dentistry and Big Bang Bikes!

Lindsay and I pre-open women swim. We were both like "this whole starting first thing is weird, VERY weird!"

Running into T1 after a swim that inspired me to get into the pool more!


This is the only biking picture we have since I decided to do so much screwy stuff in transition and try to run out wrong ways confusing the photographer. So, if you race with me, this is going to be your view - ha! kidding...just wanted to say that someday!

Coming out of T2, with a smile. Right after this I threw Kyle my heart rate monitor that had un-cliped during the swim so I biked and ran with NO heart rate the entire time. It just floated around in my sports bra the whole time! That was fun.
Courtney about to catch me so we could run together! I just love her!

I saw Chrissy out on the course and yelled "Way to Go Chrissy!" & she smiled! It was pretty cool. She was handing out metals to the finishers and missed the awards herself. How amazing is that!?Almost to the finish!
The MAO girls and Courtney (we adopted her)

We took my award picture by the car with my new helmet that I guess I won for being the fastest first timer. Pretty cool. Now I can give that helmet I've been wearing back to my Mom!

Hope everyone had a great weekend of racing! Can't wait to hear about it!

It Ain't about Luck

Ahh.. racing again..

I know, we all do that whole "Good Luck this weekend" thing, and I love it. Really, I do! I mean, when you think about it, wishing someone luck is more like wishing them well. It's our way of saying, "hey, I hope you get what you want out of it and your bike doesn't flat, your wetsuit actually comes off in one try, and you don't fall on your bike or on your face anywhere throughout the race." That's really truly it. That's what we're saying when write it, say it, hug it, whatever.

However, as we all well know, it isn't really about luck is it. I once heard that success is where preparation meets opportunity (I'm pretty sure that was intended to get me to practice my clarinet more in Jr. High band), but it's true right!? We put in the time, we train, we practice, we visualize, we pack all the needed items and then, if taper like we are supposed to (I know there are offenders out there on this one - not me, I sleep 9 hours like it is no ones business!), and if our mind is in the right place - we succeed.

Success has many definitions though. No ones definition of success is the same, nor should it be. For me, success this weekend will be to:

A. have a good attitude, focus on the task at hand, and push throughout the race

B. Encounter problems or issues and find ways to overcome them without getting flustered or giving up

C. Learning things to take with me for the rest of the racing season & get fitter so I can become a better athlete.

That's it. End of story. I'd like to try and pretend I had some grand plan of placing this or that, or making this or that time. If I said I did, I would be lying. I've got nothin, zippo, nada. I thought I might at this time of year last year when I signed up for the ELITE category (not sure what I was thinking there). That's ok, maybe I'll push a little harder that way, maybe I'll get a little fitter or just learn what it is like to start in a different wave and compete against "all women" instead of "all women in my age group" which will be good for me.

I like to be prepared, I like to do everything I can to get ready and race to my full potential, but in case you hadn't noticed, this is life, and life doesn't always go the way you want.

Chrissy Wellington (who will be there this weekend and I hope I can get a pic with her!) didn't hope to have a flat during the Ironman, but when she did, she made mistakes, and then fixed the flat, turned her bike over and raced the rest of that race like her pants were on fire. She didn't miss a beat. She kept her head together and that is what makes champions.

It's not always about having the best preparation, or the most miles in, it's about working with what you've been given to the best of your ability.

I've been racing for most of my life. Why? Humm.. still trying to figure that one out a bit myself. I guess because I love it, because I feel God smiling when I'm using the gifts he gave me, because I love pushing and challenging myself in ways that force me to examine who I am and what I am capable of doing with the help, love and support of my family and friends. Well, and because nothing compares to the feeling of crossing a finish line. Sometimes these days my finish line is just making it through the day, or getting a full night's sleep, or eating the things I'm supposed to, so I have a chance to practice it daily.

Triathlon is not who I am, it's what I do, but I doubt I would be the same without it at this point in my life. I'm excited to see friends this weekend and have good, healthy, friendly, competition and see some high numbers on that heart rate monitor to let me know I'm alive, and that I'm thankful to get to do what I love one more time.

Many, Many Good Luck's to all those who are racing & to those who will be at Columbia, and other places this weekend. If I know you or not, please come by and say hello if you see me trying to figure out what I am supposed to be leaving in the transition area. It's been awhile and I might need a bit of help! We are all in this crazy beautiful mess called life together. I pray for a legal and a safe race for all of us.

In the words of Ricky Bobby in Talladega nights, "I want to go fast Daddy" Well, let's do it then! See you this weekend on the course!

Track Time

I headed out to the track last night to perform a bit of speed work. I had a very light workout comparatively to last week. Last week I thought I might keel over and die after 1 x 12 mins hard, 1 x 9 mins hard, 6 x 1 min hard and then 6 x 30 seconds hard. Now THAT was a workout. This week was a bit easier because

TA-DA..

I am tapering.

Wow, tapering..what's coming up you ask? Columbia Olympic Distance Triathlon down in Maryland this Sunday. I can't believe I will actually be racing. I don't have any expectations because honestly, my life outside of training has been anything but typical and training has been sporadic at best, so my thoughts on this race are "here goes nothin!" I'm sure I'll have more on this later in the week.

It literally feels like forever since I have put these three sports together. I have no idea what to bring, not a clue. At least it won't be for 11-15 hours so that should help cut down on the number of things I need right!

Track workouts - They are hard, and I love them

In other strange life of Kim news (as if it isn't strange enough) the Talent Group has finally remembered I existed and called me about a few jobs lately. This is cash that helps support my triathlon addiction so I was getting very nervous that my phone hasn't rang since well, December or so. One of the companies that I used to get quite a few jobs from was a Fitness Equipment company that has me do different infomericals. Once again, don't ever buy anything off TV my friends. I had to take a few recent shots so I decided to try and be Katyla Meyers who is also a triathlete (professional). She has a great K-swiss Ad I was trying to emulate, but I don't know that it worked out! I tried to look up her website to compare, but it must be under construction. She's so beautiful, and seems like a very nice person as well from what I read so at least I tried.

This is Kim does Katyla Myers



This is Kim Does " I am a super hero looking off into the distance to see if anyone needs my help and I'm wearing my newtons so I can get there fast"

Pre-race toenails - in Ice blue in honor of my bike "Blue" and my team MAO colors...obviously blue!

This pic is for Mothers Day! I hope everyone had a wonderful one and honored those wonderful people in our lives that we could never thank enough. Really, I just saw this and thought it was funny, but I really did have a nice time with my Mother this weekend and got to see her quite a bit so I was thankful. Hopefully, no one spent much time like this as a child (then you might not be thanking your Mother quite as much!).

Momentum

Momentum is a strange thing. I can't say in the past I've given it much thought. When I heard the word I always think of those strange things that people sit on their desk where you have 4-5 balls on strings and you pull one out and let it hit the others and the "momentum" travels through the other four springing the ball on the other side out until it keeps going, each ball on the end carrying the inertia forward (now there's a word I never thought I would have used on a blog - inertia!).

So, momentum, smomentum - what's the big deal. Where am I going with this? That's a good questions and not one that I even exactly know the answer to myself right now.

I guess I've been thinking about all this training alone that I do. It's not that I lack motivation, and it's not that I don't like training, I do. Something has happened though. Some of the fun has been taken out of it. Some of the reasons I liked getting up at 5:30am to head to the pool are now over and it's affected me, deeply.

One of the reasons I love this sport is the people. The people in triathlon (for the most part) are just exceptional. They are fun-loving, energetic, positive, funny, and just nice. The people at my gym became more like a family to me, encouraging me, supporting me, making me laugh at 6:00am when I didn't feel like getting into a cold pool. Somehow it made it so much easier just to know they were going to be there when I got out of bed. These days, not only is my personal life the hardest struggle I have ever been through in my entire life, but the training (or the lack thereof by missing workouts here & there and everywhere) is just making it more and more frustrating, leaving me with a decision to make.

I've been asking myself plenty of questions lately. Why am I doing this? What do I hope to gain from it? Am I letting it define me? What are the repercussions and sacrifices that training for this sport in this manner brings along with it? Does it make sense right now? What are my priorities? What do I want people to see from my life and how is what I am doing benefiting others?

I have more questions than answers, that is for sure. I love training, but there has to be more for me, that's just the breaks. There must be a goal in mind, either tangible or intangible or I am just not interested. That's how I work. That's how I function.

The short answer is, I'm in a big momentum deficit. It hasn't been around for months. I've tried to make it, create it, conjure it, think about it, overcome it, forget about it, say it doesn't matter, survive without it - all of the above.

This weekend I attended a Mark Allen Online Training Camp in Washington, DC with my coach Luis. At one moment he was standing above me on the pool deck, athletes of all caliber all around me, and he started shouting out times and intervals I had to meet. He was saying crazy stuff, insane stuff, intervals I have never attempted to meet, let alone on 5 seconds rest. You know what, I didn't think, I didn't put expectations or negative thoughts in my mind, like NIKE says - I just did it. I took the momentum I was experiencing from seeing other athletes do well, and encourage me again and my coach believing I COULD do what he was asking or he wouldn't have asked me to try it. I broke a major barrier in the pool, and realized I am capable of much more than I have been expecting of myself over these last months. You know what, I'm done. I'm done setting the bar so low. I'm done complaining about the hot pool. I'm done acting like ohhh..whoa is me.. I'm here all alone. Something has to give. People can say I took the easy way out, people can say they don't understand (and they won't).

This was a tough thing to say because I am not sure what I am doing or how I am doing it. I just know what I need to be sane and this, for right now, is it. It's not that I couldn't keep doing it here, training, working alone, trying to keep my sanity intacted, it's just that I realize how much better things could be and maybe if some things in my life can get a little better, maybe everything in my life can get a little better.

That's what I am hoping. For now, all I really have left is hope. It's a scary feeling, and an exhilarating feeling thinking that everything will change, but that if someone is in control that knows more about it than you, then things will find a way of working out - somehow, someway.

So that's it. Now comes the hard part(s). Please keep me in your prayers as I tackle the hard parts and Kyle and I attempt to figure out if this is going to work and how. There's way more to this story than I am saying here, and hopefully you will know that's the way it has to be.

I believe in the plan, however hard, however scary, however uncertain - it's there, for my life, and I hope I start feeling like I am on it again, somehow, someday soon.

Pre-swim in aruba - I think I am going to burn this blue water and beach into my brain so I can pull it up when the winter comes again!!

The last night we ate at this beautiful place on the water known for watching the sunset as you toast to a great trip and wonderful people! It was amazing! If you ever go there I will find out the name for you!

At the top of the restaurant

Coach Luis with his lunch in DC this weekend!

Ian was a fellow camper. He was about 6'3" tall and as British as they come! I loved his accent! He just did IM AZ and had a great race for his very first IM!

A bag of goodies from the Mark Allen Online Team sponsors arrived and I got a new heart rate monitor! Thank you Polar! I passed the other one on to put it to some good use. I'm very hopeful about the momentum it will create.

New Team Uniforms and how about all this girl power pink stuff! What is UP with that? Both the fuel belt and the TYR bag - Pink as they come! I guess it's in, so I'm in! Thank you Fuel Belt & TYR. Can't wait to try it out!